happiness vs meaning

The ways of happiness and meaning are not the same. To find happiness, a man need only live in the moment; he need only live for the moment. But if he wants meaning - the meaning of his dreams, his secrets, his life - a man must reinhabit his past, however dark, and live for the future, however uncertain. Thus nature dangles happiness and meaning before us all, insisting only that we choose between them.

The Interpretation of Murder

"...there comes a time when a man has to ask himself, whether he wants a life of happiness or a life of meaning. Two very different paths. (I mean) to be truly happy, a man must live absolutely in the present. No thought of whats gone before, no thought of what lies ahead. But, life of meaning, the man is condemned to wallow in the past, obsessed about the future."

Heroes episode 18, season 1

Graduation

bedjump

Subject: Azam, Dudin and Me ;p
Venue: Novotel Suvarnabhumi Airport Hotel, Thailand

For more -> www.bedjump.com

Dad part 1

Hi, I'm Marisa, and I'm posting from Amsterdam.

During my flight from KLIA to Schipol, tiba2 homesick. Hmm...I supposed for me, 5 years is enough.. but the money (pay) is too good to let go.

Holiday was OK (and very eventful). Dad got sick while we're in Bangkok. Turns out, he had few bouts of pancreatitis (idiopathic I of I GET SMASHED) before I came home. We had to rush home, missed our holiday in KL. A CT scan then showed he had pancreatic abscess o 7cm x 7cm. Damn huge. He also had a bystander typhoid. Both typhoid and abscess gave the misleading symptoms of cancer/lymphoma i.e night sweats, fever and weight loss.

Mum told me, he went to see many doctors before this, but eneryone put it down to just mere fever and gave him panadol. Finally, at one private hospital, mum demanded a thorough check up. Of course on my advice at that time. Thank God wecaught the abscess before it ruptures or perforate other organs.

During the operation, the surgeons found that the abscess adhered to the stomach and bowel ..and it took them a long tme to separate them in order to avoid any resection. Really..describing stoma seems nice for exam but not for your own family members.

Anyway, he's recuparating well now. Hopefully the drain will be removed at the end of this week. Mum was sad cause she cant go to my convo. Dad was double sad he felt that it was his fault mum cant go....

hmmmmmmmmm

peace...

TBC

Dudin in Bangkok

last summer hols

Well...

Arrived home on Sunday the 20th. On my flight from Amsterdam to KLIA, kene usya ngan steward...hehe. Masin mulut the night before departure, cakap ngan Maedy & Roque "26 hari mencari cinta". Kat Amsterdam airport, I bought myself (konon hadiah grad..walaupun takde duit as elaun dah kene stop) a digicam...Casio Exilim 10 MP. Sempat lagi kene usya ngan pakcik salesman. Best jugak balik sorang2 ni. Asyik kene usya ;p

Still jetlagged. Sort of. Dad was sick (for the last 2 weeks), alhamdulillah he is OK (for the time being). Cant wait for our family hols!!

Oh, actually nak citer after dapat result...hehe. The next day, pi CSI balik nak amik result and tengok dapat keje ke tak. Dapat first choice la..syiuhhh. First 6 months keje kat Ballinasloe ngan Dr Barton (Cardiologist..hampeh aku kantoi ECG). Tak pasal2 kene warning ngan Maedy & Nuna (pasal Dr Barton suke ward round lama2..mau2 sampai jam 8 malam...). Seb baik ada geng, Eka & Zhanna. Dua2 pun intern Dr Clarke (yang kerek itu).

Next 6 months, keje ngan Mr Courtney & Orthopaedics kat Regional. Swap over ngan Roque after 3 months. Bosan2 tu, usya ranking sat. Hahah...ranking aku 49 out of 96? 98? 100? students. Hampehsssss....

Hari Jumaat tu buat kenduri kesyukuran sat. Faezah masak pulut kuning ngan rendang daging. Sedap sehhhh....dah balik Msia ni, kempunan plak nak makan pulut kuning...(bukan Pulut..ahaha). Tak leh nak wat besar2an, coz tak semua Msian lepas..hmmm....sedih la jugak. Lagi best kalau everyone lepas, tapi dah takdir kan? Hopefully that dear friend of mine bersabar & tabah to go through the whole thing again....

Balik Kuching ni, dua hari aku teman bapak aku pi berubat ngan Anjang.. Not yet licensed to cure(?kill) I told Anjang...pasal tu takleh nak wat apa2. Di kala2 aku bosan, aku main PS2 (Pulut...aku main God of War 2..jangan jeles!!). Dan aku bantai manga Naruto...hahah..best jugak...hampehsss...

Result budak medic Unimas kuar hari ni. Banyak gak la geng aku kat Unimas tu..esok2 aku tanya macam mana la.

Bahaya balik Kuching tahun ni. Semua tau aku grad. Semua nak pau aku...hahha...parai...

Ok la...ciao. Peace.

LULUS!

Akhirnya penantian selama 2 hari selepas exam sudah berakhir.

Alhamdulillah, Maha Suci Allah, Yang Maha Kuasa Yang Menentukan Segalanya... aku lulus 2nd class honour overall. Semua subjek second class. Alhamdulillah, medicine yang aku takut2 fail tu, dapat 2nd class jugak. Walaupun bukan 1st class, tapi aku syukur amat2 sebab dah mengatasi expectations aku sendiri (iaitu, kalau PASS pun cukup la...).

Plan asal sebenarnya nak tengok result hari Jumaat. Siap kasik tau Aini, tengokkan kalau2 ada tak Malaysian yang fail. Pulut pun beriya2 suruh aku tengok result...haha...lagi beriya dari aku tuuu...

Tapi, Aini tiba2 call kata takde pun listed student yang fail. Dalam cuak2 aku kasik tau no ID aku. 5 minit aku tunggu Aini untuk call aku balik, dan aku rasa 5 minit tu la yang paling mendebarkan. Andai kata aku fail, kesian la Aini nak break the bad news untuk aku.

Syukur aku rasanya tak mampu nak membalas pemberian Allah SWT selama ni. Ditambah pulak dengan result yang tak disangka2, lagi la terasa banyaknya hutang aku ngan Dia.

Terima kasih jugak buat semua, terutamanya budak rumah aku, Pulut, Liyana, Maedy, Roque, Wan, ngan Faezah. Buat study groupmate aku, Firdouse, Eka and Hazli. Buat Aini. The rest of my colleagues. Budak2 third year yg banyak tolong dekat2 exam ni. And the rest of Galwegian. And sume kawan2 aku di merata dunia, tak termention la nama (tp, especially nina and amar for your supports for the last 5 years)... Yang pastinya, buat parents aku yang sentiasa percaya kat aku....

Tenang hati aku, sebab balik ni aku membawa berita gembira...