last summer hols

Well...

Arrived home on Sunday the 20th. On my flight from Amsterdam to KLIA, kene usya ngan steward...hehe. Masin mulut the night before departure, cakap ngan Maedy & Roque "26 hari mencari cinta". Kat Amsterdam airport, I bought myself (konon hadiah grad..walaupun takde duit as elaun dah kene stop) a digicam...Casio Exilim 10 MP. Sempat lagi kene usya ngan pakcik salesman. Best jugak balik sorang2 ni. Asyik kene usya ;p

Still jetlagged. Sort of. Dad was sick (for the last 2 weeks), alhamdulillah he is OK (for the time being). Cant wait for our family hols!!

Oh, actually nak citer after dapat result...hehe. The next day, pi CSI balik nak amik result and tengok dapat keje ke tak. Dapat first choice la..syiuhhh. First 6 months keje kat Ballinasloe ngan Dr Barton (Cardiologist..hampeh aku kantoi ECG). Tak pasal2 kene warning ngan Maedy & Nuna (pasal Dr Barton suke ward round lama2..mau2 sampai jam 8 malam...). Seb baik ada geng, Eka & Zhanna. Dua2 pun intern Dr Clarke (yang kerek itu).

Next 6 months, keje ngan Mr Courtney & Orthopaedics kat Regional. Swap over ngan Roque after 3 months. Bosan2 tu, usya ranking sat. Hahah...ranking aku 49 out of 96? 98? 100? students. Hampehsssss....

Hari Jumaat tu buat kenduri kesyukuran sat. Faezah masak pulut kuning ngan rendang daging. Sedap sehhhh....dah balik Msia ni, kempunan plak nak makan pulut kuning...(bukan Pulut..ahaha). Tak leh nak wat besar2an, coz tak semua Msian lepas..hmmm....sedih la jugak. Lagi best kalau everyone lepas, tapi dah takdir kan? Hopefully that dear friend of mine bersabar & tabah to go through the whole thing again....

Balik Kuching ni, dua hari aku teman bapak aku pi berubat ngan Anjang.. Not yet licensed to cure(?kill) I told Anjang...pasal tu takleh nak wat apa2. Di kala2 aku bosan, aku main PS2 (Pulut...aku main God of War 2..jangan jeles!!). Dan aku bantai manga Naruto...hahah..best jugak...hampehsss...

Result budak medic Unimas kuar hari ni. Banyak gak la geng aku kat Unimas tu..esok2 aku tanya macam mana la.

Bahaya balik Kuching tahun ni. Semua tau aku grad. Semua nak pau aku...hahha...parai...

Ok la...ciao. Peace.

LULUS!

Akhirnya penantian selama 2 hari selepas exam sudah berakhir.

Alhamdulillah, Maha Suci Allah, Yang Maha Kuasa Yang Menentukan Segalanya... aku lulus 2nd class honour overall. Semua subjek second class. Alhamdulillah, medicine yang aku takut2 fail tu, dapat 2nd class jugak. Walaupun bukan 1st class, tapi aku syukur amat2 sebab dah mengatasi expectations aku sendiri (iaitu, kalau PASS pun cukup la...).

Plan asal sebenarnya nak tengok result hari Jumaat. Siap kasik tau Aini, tengokkan kalau2 ada tak Malaysian yang fail. Pulut pun beriya2 suruh aku tengok result...haha...lagi beriya dari aku tuuu...

Tapi, Aini tiba2 call kata takde pun listed student yang fail. Dalam cuak2 aku kasik tau no ID aku. 5 minit aku tunggu Aini untuk call aku balik, dan aku rasa 5 minit tu la yang paling mendebarkan. Andai kata aku fail, kesian la Aini nak break the bad news untuk aku.

Syukur aku rasanya tak mampu nak membalas pemberian Allah SWT selama ni. Ditambah pulak dengan result yang tak disangka2, lagi la terasa banyaknya hutang aku ngan Dia.

Terima kasih jugak buat semua, terutamanya budak rumah aku, Pulut, Liyana, Maedy, Roque, Wan, ngan Faezah. Buat study groupmate aku, Firdouse, Eka and Hazli. Buat Aini. The rest of my colleagues. Budak2 third year yg banyak tolong dekat2 exam ni. And the rest of Galwegian. And sume kawan2 aku di merata dunia, tak termention la nama (tp, especially nina and amar for your supports for the last 5 years)... Yang pastinya, buat parents aku yang sentiasa percaya kat aku....

Tenang hati aku, sebab balik ni aku membawa berita gembira...

the final exam

Macam tak percaya, my Surgical oral exam yesterday was my last exam in med school (hopefully)..

Everybody was asking each other after that, "nak buat apa lepas ni?"

I was so busy with studying and preparing myself for the exam for the last 9 months, that my mind and body had been working in such forward momentum..And so when it's time to do NOTHING, my brain stops and felt EMPTY..Yes, studying, although it's hard and tiresome, but I love studying...hmmm

Yesterday, I vowed that I'll get some sleep after the exam (I cant sleep at all the night before). Instead, I ended up cleaning my room..and seeing how spacey it was...hati rasa sebak pulak. I'm going to leave this house, which I've stayed for the last 5 years, particularly my room...Sayang la. I love my room...It actually have my homey smell...hahaha..

Oh yeah, surgery exam went well. Alhamdulillah. After the terrible ordeal through medicine (and post-medicine depression), I'm grateful enough that my surgical exam went well. I had 2 nice examiners for my long case..and although I didnt managed to get the diagnosis, but I performed it smooth enough (pressure of speech..the examiners cant even cut in..huahahaha). And I had Regan and Kelly for my short cases. Although they asked a lot of questions, but as long as I managed to answer them all, I supposed it's OK. And the oral exam went well as well. I had PE for my oral exam (the same Q for my med oral)...I supposed this was some help from God, giving me the same Q for my oral. Alhamdulillah.

Thank God I didnt feel an inch of nervousness yesterday. Partly maybe because I didnt get any sleep, so, I was too sleepy to feel nervous anyway. I've slept too much before my med exam, so, that's maybe why I was so nervous that day (consciousness level was too high at that time)...

Someone spread the word that everyone passed their medicine. Well, I wish thats true, although it's not finalized until the board meeting, who's actually going to pass PASS.

Well, final year is the hardest year, yet the dearest year for me. It has been spiritually, emotionally and physically demanding. I might've killed some neurons along the way. Didnt had much fun, as time was spent studying and worrying. I was homesick throughout the year, and cant wait to go home this Saturday. Hope everything goes well, as I hope to bring good news to my parents this Sunday.

Amin

Denial and anger

I'm feeling down. No words can ever describe my frustration. For the time being, crying seems the best thing to keep me strong.

I wish my mum's here. She is not the kind of person who would give strong words or advice that'll pull you out of your miseries. Neither do dad. Hmm. Its more like, tak apa mengadu ngan parents, they cant judge you (if anything goes wrong) because you're their children.

I tried to call mum yesterday, but she was still at the school (it was sports day yesterday). So, I called dad instead. It was akward for him. I was telling him, how nervous I was before the exam. He kept silent. Apparently, consoling the children is mum's job... mum then called me back just before I was called for my short cases...

Both of them were like, "Ah, jangan risau. Boleh buat punya. No big deal la. Dah selalu duduk exam, kan..". It was always that way. How come they have such strong expectations of me?

It was frustrating. Frustrated, because I wasnt able to give my 100% yesterday. Frustrated, because I gave in too much with my nervousness, I end up doing my worst ever..

Sigh

How sad, felt so helpless..Complaining to God seems too rebellious and ungrateful, but that's what I'm doing right now. Denial and anger.

AnimeOtaku

Last night, after having dinner, I told Wan, I have a new resolution or ambition..apa2 je la. I told her I was browsing the web for list of animes, since I've no clue what to watch next (after Hajime no Ippo)...then,

I stumbled upon a website, and it listed the Japanese choice of the Top 100 anime (published by TV Asahi). Kinda dissapointing because my favourites eg Niea_7 and Bokura ga Ita werent on the list! And I wonder why top notch famous anime eg Ah!My Goddess, Death Notes and Elfen Lied weren't on the list as well...And yet, the bland Azumanga Daioh was on it!!

So, basically, my new ambition is to watch all 100 animes la... hahaha!! Some I've seen (white), some I've read (pink) and some I'm currently watching (blue). The rest is yet to be explored...huahahaha

1 Fullmetal Alchemist
2 Neon Genesis Evangelion
3 Pani Poni Dash!
4 The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
5 Negima!
6 Gundam
7 Bleach
8 Prince of Tennis
9 Rozen Maiden
10 Strawberry Marshmallow
11 Shana
12 Dragonball
13 Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
14 Eureka 7
15 Yu Yu Hakusho
16 Overman King Gainer
17 Naruto
18 Slam Dunk
19 Kyo Kara Maoh!
20 Inu Yasha
21 One Piece
22 Gintama
23 Detective Conan
24 Saiyuki
25 Saint Seiya
26 Rurouni Kenshin
27 The Law of Ueki
28 Hunter X Hunter
29 Fafner
30 Sailor Moon
31 Doraemon
32 Air
33 Sergeant Frog
34 Touch
35 City Hunter
36 Ranma 1/2
37 Digimon
38 My-HiME
39 Lupin III
40 Cowboy Bebop
41 Blood+
42 Mahoraba ~Heartful days~
43 Pokemon
44 Cardcaptor Sakura
45 Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
46 Major
47 Eyeshield 21
48 Crayon Shin-chan
49 Galaxy Angel
50 Nintama Rantarou
51 s-CRY-ed
52 Tactics
53 Tsubasa Chronicle
54 Black Jack
55 The Twelve Kingdoms
56 Best Student Council
57 Honey and Clover
58 Zatch Bell
59 Sousei no Aquarion
60 Harukanaru Toki no Naka de ~Hachiyou Shou~
61 Higurashi no Naku Koro ni
62 Bincho-tan
63 ARIA The ANIMATION
64 Ojamajo Doremi
65 Fushigiboshi no Futago Hime Gyu!
66 Futari wa Pretty Cure
67 Macross
68 Urusei Yatsura
69 GaoGaiGar: King of Braves
70 Fate/stay night
71 Ouran High School Host Club
72 Mushishi
73 Kamichu!
74 Heidi
75 Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo
76 Azumanga Daioh
77 Play Ball
78 Gakuen Alice
79 Jigoku Shoujo
80 Bokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan
81 Hikaru no Go
82 D.C. ~Da Capo~
83 Planetes
84 Full Metal Panic!
85 Candy Candy
86 Chibi Maruko-chan
87 Sakura Wars
88 Space Battleship Yamato
89 Fist of the North Star
90 Onegai my Melody
91 Martian Successor Nadesico
92 Peacemaker
93 Black Cat
94 Fruits Basket
95 Brave Saga
96 Yu-Gi-Oh!
97 Maison Ikkoku
98 Samurai 7
99 School Rumble
100 Patlabor

After listening to my new-found resolution, Wan was impressed. I actually found something I really want to do. And then she called me... OTAKU!!! WAHHAHHAHAHA!!

Oh yeah. An Anime Otaku. Just that I'm not into hentai la... bwerkk!!

Come to think of it...macam malas pulak la kan nak layan Yu-Gi-Oh or Pokemon or Naruto (no offence ah Naruto-fans..dragging sangat la anime tuh...)

:P

contradict

I supposed there's a limit to ignorance.

And I supposed, I have to get angry once in a while.

Hmm. After all, I'm only human.

It's annoying when people are contradicting themselves. Not to say I've a good stand myself.

But to say you need space, and yet when I left, you go badgering others. But to say you're religious, and yet when I respected that, you spent the nights with some guys. But to say you're responsible, and yet when I believed that, you shattered that trust immediately. I cant ignore that...

Hmm. Yes, I contradicted myself once in a while.

It feels like shit.

Oh well..I supposed being lonely at this time of year sucks. Especially after watching some anime, and end up pitying myself. Damn.

Oh fcrapck. I can no longer ignore this things. Well, maybe just today. Tomorrow, I'll put on my 'happy-I-dont-care-a-damn-thing-about-the-world' face.

Peace.