In love with you

Girls love bad boys. Smart bad boys. Smart good looking bad boys.
I'm soooooooooooo in love with Michael Scofield. Lalala..Wentworth Miller, will you be mine?

Muahh!!!

I believe you can....

Tadi ada core tutorial ngan Dr Gerard AKA The Super-Genius Doc. Nyehehe.

We did three topics, dengan agak pantas gak le. Biasa, dia selalu buat, mau2 satu jam lebih discuss satu topik. Tapi, dia tau ah, hari Jumaat ni, budak2 slalu nak balik rumah/berfoya2/tido, so dia buat ah speed sket. Mantap jugak. Tak sampai dua jam, dah habiskan topik2 tu.

Lepas tu, dia cakap nak jumpa kitorang one by one. Nak buat assessment. Aku cuak gile. Ye ah, throughout tutorial tadi, aku tak cakap banyak. Yang aku cakap, cuma "hyperglycaemia", "hypothermia", ngan "IV". Hah, sket gile, sampai boleh kira tu..ahaha. Aku tak leh banyak sangat orang tutorial ni. Semua orang nak jawab, malas la kan. Tambah pulak, banyak budak2 terer group aku eg Ciara, Martin, Waqar, Doireann..kasik can diorang cakap ah.

So, sampai masa..tibalah giliran aku. Dia tanya, aku dah tau ke result aku. Aku bluntly cakap, aku tak tau. Aku tau, saja nak nyusah dia. Anyway, dia pun kasi tau la result aku. Dari masa 4th year nyer MCQ til the latest. It was 70+, 70+, 60+, 60+ then 70+. Purata 69. Dan aku actually said the word damn depan dia..ahaha. Aku cakapla, satu markah lagi nak 70. Then, sengih (cover malu). Tapi, dia cakap aku buat OK gak. Kire maintain ah. Dan dia harap aku dapat maintain performance til final exam aku. And then, dia cakap something yang truly boost my spirit.... I bet he said that to the others, but what the F*#%. I know I'm not the best, and I know my limitation against the others, but it felt good when he said that to me, to show I am something.

Dear Dr Gerard, I'm gonna try my best to get that!!

Got stoned?

It was only one tablespoon. OK. It's not one. But two. Two full tablespoon of IT. Should have read the warning written on the box. But, being arrogant me, "ah, tak mati punya".

It was OK for the first half an hour. I felt GREAT. No more snivelling. No more coughing. No more musculoskeletal pain. Definitely no more blowing my nose. It was great indeed. Such magical, wonderful IT. Salute to the one who prescribed IT to me.

Then it started. I felt drowsy. Was swooshy all over. The room was spinning around me. Or was I'm the one who's spinning around the room? Couldnt feel my legs. Of course, the ground's no longer at my foot. I was high up. On the ceiling. Floating like a balloon filled with helium. I even felt like I've bumped my head on the ceiling. And saw few birds flew happily in front of me. I smiled at the scene. Then, this cant be right, I told myself.

I felt tired. Instantly, I curled up under the duvet. Tried to sleep the weird feeling off. I had the same dream again. I was FLOATING. Literally. Suddenly I woke up. Must had slept for hours. I even felt the day was turning into night, from the look outside my window. Scrambled for my watch (I was still very disorientated), I had only slept for an hour. Damn. It was kinda hot. I was sweaty all over. I kicked off the duvet, took off my sweater. I even opened the window.For God sake it's winter and yet I felt like it's 40 degree in here. This cant be good.

I tried to go downstairs. I could hear my housemates chatting away at the kitchen. It was a terrible effort going downstairs. My legs were weak. I couldnt see right, couldnt think straight. I've managed, however, to go downstairs, not without stumbled on the last step. I went to the kitchen. Saz was there. Kak Zeti and Kak Ida were there. And they're watching some old movie on channel 2. Kak Zeti was acknowledging me, something about what's wrong with me, and that I looked like shit. I told them it's the IT. Kak Zeti tsked tsked. No wonder she said. Dont you know whats IT is? Mouth was moving, but all I could hear was bla bla bla. I just couldnt concentrate.

Couldnt stand the noise from the TV. Hurts my head. I went back upstairs. As I entered my room, I tried to figure out the whole thing. The sequence of events. I took IT. Got all better, than suddenly got so dizzy and felt I've been thrown out of my own body. SHIT. I got STONED.

It the midst of drowsiness, being muddled, disturbed, perplexed, disorientated, and somehow hallucinated, I've managed to squeeze some sanity out of my impaired brain. Delirious or not, this need major intervention. Go cold-turkey. That's how they do it.

I went to the the bathroom. Carefully got into the bath tub. Wont want to trip and end up dead in there and found intoxicated with IT in my bloodstream. Wont want to haunt the Snipelawn's bathroom either. I turned on the shower, and let the cold water running. Hell it was icy cold. Definitely not a good idea to take a cold water bath in winter time. I was in there for about 20 minutes or so. Despite the shivering, I knew I was becoming myself again. I've regained 'consciousness'. And so, before I got hypothermic instead, it's better to get out of there.

Still shivering, I took the box and stared hard at it. Damn. Then I threw IT away. No point in getting good, while feeling like shit at the same time. It was the end of it. And the end of IT.

IT was a codeine linctus. Yes, I got stoned by a cough suppressant. Not funny when you experienced it yourself. It turns out, as I realized, I'm not cut out to be a drug addict. One, I couldnt stand the whole delirium thing. Two, I'm not keen on being cold-turkey again.

The end.

"How purging nearly killed me. Next, on the SICK, SAD WORLD"

Peace.

cinta sebenarnya...ciplak.

I'm continously dissapointed with industri perfileman negara. At least the Irish can come up with good, original films. But us, Malaysians?

The latest film that cause quite an uproar in Msia, CINTA, turns out to be the carbon-copy of LOVE, ACTUALLY (a UK-based film, released in 2003) Yang bezanya mungkin, dalam CINTA, tak ada kisah cinta perdana menteri dan kisah cinta dua orang pelakon 18SX. Talk about morality. But, love affair/scene between 2 orang bukan muhrim? Nyehehe. Cynical. Believe it or not, LOVE, ACTUALLY was shown in Astro's HBO..again, minus the porn actors scene. And yeah, the PM scene wasnt edited..after all, we M'sians are psych of Hugh Grant (perghhh....) Yeah, my dad was thrilled by the fact that the UK's PM can dance..and Hugh Grant was very goooooooooooood. I wonder if Pak Lah boleh menari atau tak...ish.

I dont know whats wrong with us. We've had Prof Mohaideen as the copy-cat, so enough is enough. More are following his footsteps. Indeed we still have some good directors and writers with intact sense of originality. Hopefully, these people will not be pressured to produce something equivalent to LOTR or Matrix to the point that they will cilok the idea, the storyline etc etc. Anyway, for me, examples of good Msian film would be Buli, Fenomena, Bujang Lapuk, Sayang Salmah....nyehehe. Maksudnya, kita ada idea dan kita berbakat. Kan..kan...

I know, originality is hard to find..a storyline can no longer create the same suspense, or mood, or impact, like they used to be. Even Titanic II can never beat the 1st one (someone's asking, is there Titanic II? Biar betol nih, aku dah kasi tau mak aku, Titanic II nak kuar..dia dah excited dah...) Matrix 3 was wayyyyy worse than Matrix 1. Scary movies can no longer scare some people (except me, scary movies never fail to give me goosebumps and nightmares and a slap to someone else face). Storyline becomes dull. No more "ARGGGHH!!" or "WOOOWWW!!!" or "CIS!!" or "TIDAKKK!!" Tengah2 cerita, orang dah boleh agak ending dan sempat tido atau buat scene sendiri kat panggung wayang..ahaha..Hmm, thats the challenge isnt it? To create something lain daripada yang lain.

But how? How to create a great storyline? Something that never been done before. For example, Christopher Nolan with Memento. Or, David Fincher with Fight Club? Or, Kinji Fukasaku with Royale Battle? Maybe (a bit) too extreme there...

Mana-manalah. Anyway, its easy for me to complaint and comment. Bukan aku yang buat cerita tu kan, so, lepak la kan..But, I'm the one who is paying the money to see the film. Tambah lagi kalo beli VCD pirate. Bukan saja gambar gelap, dan tunggang langgang, tambah parah kalo crita tak best. Ahaha. Hey, sokonglah filem buatan Malaysia. Crap tak crap, kita jugak yang kene tolong, ndak? Apa-apapun, CINTA is not without it's own "ummpph". The idea may be the same , but the style could be different. And we have Pierre Andre instead of Colin Firth. And Keira Knightley instead of Sharifah Amani..eh, terbalik (hehe) Dan realitinya, orang Malaysia termasuk aku, we are sucker for love story..so, pedulik hapa dengan ciplak tak ciplak, rite? At least we're good at something...iaitu menciplak. Lainla kalo Richard Curtis nak saman Kabir Bhatia..huhu. Baru lah nak havoc.

Peace

Apa kata kiter buat filem pasal budak2 medic? The tag line should be "It's all about stethoscope, white coat, and Oxford Handbook of Medicine" ...haha. Gosh, I bet the "getting a neuro case for long case during final exam" scene mesti thrill punyalah....hahahahahahaha....

proud

Ok, so whats wrong with giving your opinion? Or stating your stand? Or simply, letting out some steam? Thomas tak marah. Amar OK. Aku pun cool. Nina je yang blur. And yeah, Nina, to answer your question, it's about Thomas and Lydia. Takde kaitan with me pun. He simply asked for my advice, and I've given him one.

Is it of concern when someone stating something negative or sound pessimistic? Is life's all about flowers, butterflies, honey, rainbow, love, sunshines..bla..bla..bla?



Crap... And no, I'm not being negative, just stating the obvious.
Hmm.

It is a mistake (kinda) for making this blog public. I would want to change the url, but then I'll cut off some my friends from their only connection to me (and my latest kaba). Therefore, from now on, some issues regarding me and my friends will be written in bahasa sarawak. After all, some of my Sarawakian friends has been complaining that my bahasa sarawak has been quite sloppy. Kinda unfair, since I'm the only sarawakian...in my class...in my house...bla..bla..bla.

Bahasa iban, melanau also sloppy...cess..my Sabahan slang pun dua kali lima. All these lepeh speaking made me confused. Haha. Lepeh..lepeh. Mun dak lepeh tauk gine perkataan lepeh tok ujud, nang manas lalu la daknya klak. Nyehehe..kamboh..kamboh...
And, I dont want to go to CSI tomorrow. I've declared tomorrow as my day off. Just call it 'anticipatory migraine'. YEAY.

Tadik tek ada nemiak matrik mesej aku..hehehe..kenak ka oh? Nya padah ku kin kacak, dolok di matrik gaok jak..ehehe..lalala..gerek baru..gerek baru... (???)

Oh, palak juak hari tok. Pagi tek, nang semangat alu aku agak tutorial prof egan..best naa juak. Bait laki ya. Bole diembak plentey la, at least nya ngajar aku sik penin. Lekak ya, tutorial ngan adrian (menar ndak namanya tuk..)..nang kak ya, syal juak. dah la kakar sik paham (kakar bertraborrrr), lekak ya, nak alah2 nangga jam..nangga urang lalu lalang. sik konsentret alu ngan mek urang.maok sik maok jak ngan mek orang. tedah juak ku nangga syazwan tek. blur jak upa. mun da tutor, ngajarla menar2. tok semadi maok jak..sabar jak aku, kedong aku sik pandey, malas la aku mok sound gilak..ehehe..lalu lekak ya, side epek juak la. downnnnnnnn....

huhu..kenyang juak eka cia ku makan tek...ehehe. makseh eka.

ngerepak. ngerepak. ngerepak.

Peace.

just stop trying

People should learn when to stop trying. Because I'm the person who know when to stop. When I do, I wont feel any regret. And when I do, I dont care about them. Even if its my mistake from the start, I would say sorry and move on with my life. I dont care if you're stuck or drag along behind me. I dont care if you hate me. I dont care about reasoning, second chances bla bla bla. I'm heartless. I can forget everything I said, or what I felt about someone. I can change in a second. I can hate one person today, and love them tomorrow. Vice versa. I hate giving excuses for what I did. Truthfully, simply, I hate commitment. I just dont want to care about others. And I dont want others to care about me. Thank you for your thought. I'm fine on my own.

So, stop trying. You only waste your time. You only make a fool out of yourself. If people are playing hard to get with you, so be done with it. Yeah, yeah..so you like them so much, you cant forget about them. So what? Do you have any self value? If you do, then stop. They dont want you, so get on with your life. Dont sell yourself short for something stupid and cheap like love. Even whores get money for so-called intimacy. Do you?

Go buy something nice for yourself. Pamper yourself. Sleep. And find a new person to be with. Like I always do. Like I always do. When you're done with it, stop and start the whole thing again. See, living life aint so bad. It's just knowing when to forgive, forsake and forget. TARAA!

Now, dont get me wrong. This is not about any of you. This has nothing to do with any of you. Not everything is about any of you. This is just something I would do. A second nature you might call it. I normally care about others. When I feel like it. Kapish?

sultan and butler's

Nothing complete kebab than a cup of latte. Hmm.

So, we had our big meal just now. Exactly, 5 hours ago. Thy mouth still stinks of lamb. And yeah, the tongue still burn from the hot latte. Anyhoo, the day was great. As long as the tummy is "ho, ho, ho", and the mouth says "burp", indeed, mentally, I'm satisfied. BURP.

Lots of people in town today. Everyone is in their festive mood. Me too. Minus the cash, that is. Oh, I'm not broke. Just "voluntary simplicity".

Anyhoo, despite my dates ie Roq and Pulut, being cheerie today, I'm definitely not in the mood for photography. The evidence is ultimately obvious. I'm suck in the below pics. Hence the effort to make them smaller, so I'll look less hideous. Mind the discretion. Anyhoo, the pics come out quite nice..HIP HIP HOORAY for Roq's new handphone.

And nothing makes the night happier, than having a cute guy smiling at us. Too cute to be true. Damn. Cute guys should be ban from smiling. They make you drool, act sheepishly girlishly stupid, babbling incoherent "gu gu ga ga", and make you sleepless thinking of them. Nyehehehehe. Unless you can have them for yourself, no harm in that. That reminds me, the next time I have a cute guy by my side, think twice before dumping him...lalala. Stop blaming the pathological dumper. HoHoHo.

Oh man. That kebab gave me headache. Damnit. And I have 4 lectures in a row tomorrow. Damnit, I have to say damnit again!

Tip for the day: The answer for "Apa yang lelaki pernah buat sampai kau terharu?" is definitely not "kambing".

kawan nasehat

Thers's only few people i would listen to i.e. of whose advice I would approve to..

First, there's my mum and dad..Next, my sis (sometimes). Then, Peah. And Izah (although she asked mine most of the time). Dino and Kanji. And Nina and Amar. Here in Galway, Aini and Eka. And sometimes Roq (but she's occupied her own thingy..ehehe) and Pulut.

If you're not mentioned in the above paragraph, all I can say is "All I hear is bla bla bla..."

Haha. Bukanlah bermaksud nasihat2 orang lain selain daripada those I mentioned above tu tak bagus. Kadang2 ada yang bagus, orang yang baik2 pulak yang selalu nasihat aku. Tapi, sebab hati susah nak terima, dan kadang2 ada barrier to acceptance..kadang kala, yang tak bagusnya, betapa baik orang tu, sebab hati ni benci, susah gak nak terima nasihat. Malah, makin naik rasa benci pun kadang2 ada. Astaghfirullah.

mama pun slalu nunggah aku bengkeng, keras palak sik maok nengar klaka orang. mun dah ngan mak aku pun aku kadang2 gia, ginelah aku sik kedak ya ngan orang lain nak? haha...

Hey good news!! It's PMS time. It's the time of the month!! It's 'being annoying, sarcastic and ignorant time'!! WOOHOO!!! It's 'binging without guilt' time!!! WOOHOO!!!

Daria

Yes, I luv watching Daria. Well, I love MTV's Downtown too, but mum didnt approve me watching it. kah kah.

I still remember when I first discover Daria and Jane and the rest of the gang. It was in 1998, when I was in Form 3. It was shown on NTV7, every Thursday night, if I'm not mistaken. Yes, it couldnt be in weekends, coz me and Izah, we would be chatting away about the cartoon every Friday (during BM period for sure....). We would laughed over Jane and Daria's sarcastic remarks, over Brittany stupidity and drooled over Trent's coolness...kah kah. Gosh, how can a girl fall in luv with a cartoon character? Dont blame us. Real people were less appetizing at that time.

And what about the whiny Mr Morgendoffer? Daria's father who is incompetent, scared of and emotionally neglected by his own father? He's also living proof that humans and jellyfish can have offspring, as he is totally spineless and lets Helen run roughshod over him.

The annoying Fashion triplets? The teachers of Lawndale? It's full of character. Dysfunctional family and society around them always crack me up. Family Guy is funny. Curb Your Ethusiasm is funny. Arrested Development is funny. Malcolm in the Middle is funny. Even The Sopranos is funny. And The OC too...not really. Too much crap is put into Marisa's spoiled behaviour. Makes you puke over your own name. And no, I'm not complaining about Marisa's character. Why should I? A beauty like Mischa Barton playing my name? GOSH. You got to be insane to be complaining.

Izah always laugh when I imitated Mr deMartino, bulging eyes, whenever he gets stress..ahaha..Izah..Izah. I missed those days of being able to watch cartoon and acted them out without people judging you of being childish or nerd or skema or wutever the words people used to defame others. Yeah, I missed hanging out with Izah. During those years of white T and faded blue jeans. And sometimes with McDonald's boots and 3/4 cargo pants. Those were the days.

"Is that the voice in my head that tells me to kill and kill again?"

"No. Satan's voice is lower and he has an English accent."

-Damnit. It's my turn to say damnit- Thanks Daria. Blame me for I dont care.

P/S:Completing your case report and watching Daria at the same time is not advisable..peace.

Its been a long time since I dreamnt of dating Trent..lalalala...

Having fun!!

Gembira sangat2 semalam!!

Rugila sapa2 yang tak datang...

It started off with a spontaneous performance by Idah and Farah..chali sangat2!!! Sebab diorang enjoy sangat singing that song, kitorang pun enjoy..

Next was the performance by The Broadband (huhu, Pulut came up with that name....ahahah) Haha, it was great... Imagine saying "sorry", and giving up or clapping or laughing while playing the guitar....kuangkuangkuang!! Its OK Roq, next time kita buat lagi gempaq!! Ni, tak cukup praktis and sejuk and dah lama tak main gitar ni... (alasan..eheheh...) Oh yeah, Liyana lupa nak masuk chorus and Pulut jahanamkan lagu Jika Kau Bercinta Lagi.....ahahahahhaha..... Tapi, My Heart and Hanya Memuji was quite a great success....Then again, we were just enjoying ourself!!! tak tahan tengok rupa Roq masa nak hit chord B#m....erk..erk....ehehehe...

We missed the 3rd and the 4th performance...tisk...tisk...

And the 5th!!! WE LOVE IT!!! A dance routine by the juniors in PINK!!! And Ayumi Hamasaki was there as well..ahahahaha!!!!! BEST!! BEST!!! KAWAIIII la everybody!!

Next is by Aisyah and Didi..hahaha..tahan gelak jek part Kungfu Hustle/Matrix tu..tak ingattttttt.....

Then, a solo recitation of "Pesan pada Angin" by Maedy..

Finally a drama titled "Ada Apa Dengan KO (Kambing Oren)" directed by Mis. Full of emotion, best of the best that night...great lighting, great sound effect, great storyline, and great acting by the Kambings...mbekk....BRAVO!! BRAVO!!!

Sayang la sapa2 yang tak datang semalam...Yes, we were no near professional (not even an amateur!!), but the point was to have fun, and fun was what I gained yesterday..after the stressful week of Anaesthesia, I'm glad I'm doing this... Finally, berjaya gak main gitar bersama2 Roq in front of a crowd before kitorang grad. And I'm really happy that some of my final year colleagues came to cherish the day with us..muahhh!!!!

Definitely, the best day ever!!!!

I'll be missing days like this once I graduated (Aminn...)

Thanks PPI, you make my day :)

Peace.

23

ahhhh...23.. damn worst day ever.

buffalo 66

Great. Semalam, aku layan Buffalo 66, sekali lagi, untuk kali ke-13.

One of the best filem aku pernah tonton. The next most filem I've watched after Queen of the Damned dan Fulltime Killer.

Gallo plays an ex-con, Billy Brown, on the day of his release from prison. Billy was in prison for five years after taking the rap for a crime he didn't commit. Being the son off rabid Buffalo Bills' fans (hence his name), Billy had bet on the Bills to win the Super Bowl. When the Bills lost and Billy could not cover his bet; his bookie threatened to harm Billy's parents if he did not plea guilty to a crime committed by the bookie's associate. Amazingly, Billy hides the fact he is in prison from his parents by telling them that he works for the government and is out of the country much of the time. When Billy shows up in Buffalo after his prison release, he is intent on visiting his parents. To sustain his cover story, Billy kidnaps a young tap dancing student (Christina Ricci) to pose as his wife. Billy's plan is to show his uncaring parents that he is a good son. While in town, Billy also seeks revenge for being sent to prison by finding and killing the Bills' kicker who missed what would have been the winning field goal of that fateful Super Bowl.

Gallo's Billy is a pathetic and abusive motor mouth. He is obsessive about cleanliness although he looks rather dirty himself. He rudely confronts people as a way of rejecting others before they have a chance to reject him. His verbal abrasiveness is somewhat disconcerting and scary at first; as when he kidnaps Layla. After one realizes that Billy is all bark and no bite, his rants become very humorous. We find that Billy's anti-social behavior stems from his relationship with his parents. His mother is totally devoted to the Bills football team. She fanatically watches old games on tape with the same enthusiasm as a live game; as if she could will the outcome of the games to change. Billy's father is a former night club singer who is quick to anger about insignificant things. Billy's parents are such unloving parents, that they seem unconcerned with Billy's disappearance from their lives the last five years. To Billy's dismay, his parents seem more impressed with his false bride than with their own son. Gallo dresses Layla in a baby blue baby doll with blue eye shadow and blue tap shoes. It's funny that no one in the film seems to notice her outfit except Billy's leering father. Maybe Gallo wanted Layla to appear as angel or a Fairy Godmother of sorts.

Christina Ricci plays Layla, the young hostage Billy abducts to pose as his wife. Ricci is terrific in the part of a reluctant and then willing partner in Billy's charade. The motives of Ricci's character are one of the mysteries of the film. How she can fall in love with a man who kidnaps her and continuously verbally abuses her is really quite bizarre. Only someone with very low self-esteem and a need to please people would act the way Layla does. In this respect, Layla is similar to Billy, who is irrationally bent on trying to please his parents. She does her very best to play the admiring wife; so much so that she seems to believe it herself. This may be the key to Layla's character. She sees herself as a person who can change Billy's life by becoming the person he wishes he had in his life. Gallo has said that Buffalo '66 is essentially about acting. Throughout the film, Billy is always coaching Layla on how to act the part of his ideal wife. He even gives her a fake name, like a stage name, of a former classmate - Wendy. Layla approaches her role like a real trooper. She goes so far as to embellish her character by improvising the story of her relationship with Billy for Billy's parents. The bickering that goes on between Billy and Layla is much like what occurs between directors and actors trying to work on a role.

Billy's only two friends in the world are a mentally challenged young man he affectionately calls "Goon" and a pin setter at a bowling alley. It seems Billy was a champion bowler as a child, a fact which he kept hidden from his parents. Billy shows off his ten pin prowess at the bowling alley where we are also treated to an entertaining tap routine by Layla. There also is a good scene in a photo booth with Billy directing the impish Layla on how to appear as a married couple "spanning time together". Gallo shows Buffalo as a gritty, working-class city seemingly stuck in the seventies. Gallo uses a fast film stock favored by many films of the seventies to help convey that idea. Gallo shows us that Billy is actually returning to a life much like the one he left when he entered prison. He revisits his old haunts (the bowling alley and Denny's). Even his locker at the bowling alley has been preserved just like the way he left it. When Billy sees a girl that he used to have a crush on in grade school, he still acts like he a rejected suitor. Convinced that his life is a hopeless mess, Billy sets his plans in motion to kill the former football player who lost the big game. To his surprise, Billy discovers that the kicker owns a topless bar in town. While waiting during the intervening hours for his victim to show up at the club, Billy spends some quality time with Layla. Although she is tender and compassionate toward Billy, he seems to want to keep their relationship on a purely impersonal level. What Layla shows Billy, by her tender attention and praise, is a possible future different from his past.

The climatic scene in the film occurs when Billy confronts the Bill's old kicker. The former football player is a sad, obese, heavy drinking, balding middle-age man, who spends most of his nights at the topless bar (Due to the extensive SX-ness of this scene, I had to fast forward this part). As he was going to shoot the old-kicker, he then experienced a moment of epiphany. He has been miraculously saved by a baby-blue angel.

The best scene ever-when he giddily ran out from the topless bar and into a bakery and bought a heart-shaped cookie..he told the girl at the counter, it's for his girlfriend.

Its amazing how a person with a pure, innocent heart, can actually change a rough, tough person. As 'Layla' in Buffalo 66, 'Jesse' in Queen of the Damned and 'Chin' in Fulltime Killer.

be warn

Mood tengah down. Tengah depressed. Migraine. Sebabnya, dah banyak buat keputusan melulu. Dan sekarang dalam dilema. FULL STOP.

Tak nak layan SAPA2. Except pasal study.

Peace.


P/S: 'Sorry' beforehand. I might come up with a shocking decision...

cinderella

Pulut dah tido.

Layan citer Cinderella ngan Pulut tadi.

Kurang hajau punyer ending. Seb baik aku tengok sipi2 tadi. Kalo tak, memang tak tido aku terbayang2 antu tu.

Oh, notes untuk presentation Myasthenia Gravis untuk esok tak siap lagi. Aku dah ngantuk ni. Minum kopi pun ngantuk lagi. Caffeine-immune ni.

Ni yang malas minum kopi. Dah le tak kaw-kaw, buat kuning gigi jek. Baik minum BPM atau Red Bull.

Satu minggu ni, secara amnya, OK ah. OK la buat orthopaedic ngan Mr Curtin. Betul la cakap Phalinn, hidung Curtin memang hidung paling besau aku pernah jumpa. Gembira jugak dapat tutorial, walaupun cam hampeh bila kene tanya. Semangat buat history taking tak ada lagi, sebab, terasa patient Galway tak frenly..ahahah..suka patient Ballinasloe...

Gembira jugak sebab makan banyak minggu ni. Makan sedap2 kat rumah orang. First time makan nasik kaler biru yang dijamu Naa. Huhu. Esok lusa, ada jamuan lagi. Cayalah.

Oh, aku dah jadik member KUG..haha....

Dont worry, aku kaki usrah, kaki PPI, kaki MYS, kaki DAP, kaki Persatuan Melanau Sarawak...blu bla blu bla....hipokrit? tak ah...aku kaki layan jek.....

Jangan tanya kenapa aku join sedangkan dulu aku bengang gila ngan kelab2 ni. Aku bengang sebab orang gaduh tak tentu pasal bila timbul hal kelab2. Kalau tak tau sebab betul, jangan ngengada nak mengadu domba. Aku join sebab I believe everyone should be given a fair chance. Cukuplah dengan cuba untuk prove yourself worthy of acknowledgemnet by creating a good club that unite people dan pada masa yang sama, amar makruf nahi mungkar. Tak usahlah bersoal jawab niat seseorang nak join satu2 kelab. Sampai bila kelab tu nak bergerak, kalau setiap masa membernya disoal jawab?

Ada masalah?

Peace.

balik kampung

Alhamdullilah. Aku dah balik 'kampung' dengan selamatnya, dan dengan perasaan gembira.

Dah setel attachment general medicine kat Ballinasloe for 4 weeks. Gembira coz minggu terakhir ni, aku dah bonding dengan consultant. Dr Clarke ni, kerek, weird tapi orangnya baik. The fact that dia insist aku jadik lebih confident dan ajar aku sambil bergurau dgn patient...buat aku rasa 'belajar' can be a fun thing kalo kene dengan cikgunya. ye, lepas ni jadik lebih confident...aku ni penakut sebenarnya, selalu kene tegur ngan SHO sebab selalu jawab soalan dengan suara ciput2 walopun betul. ye ah, suara burung pipit, bak kater prof loftus.

Walaupun, secara ilmiahnya, aku tak semakin bijak, tapi aku suka dengan team aku di Ballinasloe. Diorang concern giler ngan aku, selalu tanye aku apa yang aku dah buat, patient apa aku dah jumpa, kalau aku ada2 apa2 soalan, dan setiap masa ngajar aku biarpun untuk beberapa minit between patients masa ward round. Dan yang paling penting, diorang ingatkan aku, tak guna kalo ko pandai, yang penting ko kene yakin!!! Thanks Rev!!

Bertambah2 la semangat aku nak jadik doktor yang baik, yang rajin ngajar junior2 akan datang, insyaAllah.

Best2 pun, aku ponteng gak hari last day attachment..ahahah...lantak ah. Aku nak raya!!

P/S

1. hari ni tolong liyana buat 'biskut' nenas. bukan tart nenas...diulangi, bukan tart nenas!

2. roque spoil mood seh, sedih dapat tau dr larkin dah ada awek.

3. sedap giler makan time usrah kat umah farah petang tadi. len kali boleh jemput lagi..rumah lawa kene buat selalu. rumah buruk cam snipelawn, tak yah la...ahaha...

4. rindunyer ngan hosmet!!!!!! wahahahhahaha....kontrol geli..kontrol geli.....

komplen sket...

manusia memang kuat komplen.

satu, sebab kita ada nafsu. kedua, sebab kita ada akal. tiga, sebab kita ada mulut. dan empat, yang paling penting sekali, kita ada orang yang sanggup mendengar komplen kita itu. sebab itu, di malaysia, kita ada kaunter pertanyaan dan peti cadangan. dan juga blog untuk melampiaskan rasa tak puas ati.

sebenarnya, agak bosan mendengar orang yang kuat komplen, apatah lagi benda yang remeh temeh. sejak study medicine ni, hari2 mendengar komplen patient. doktor sendiri pun komplen jugak. doktor komplen pasal patient pasal nurse...nurse komplen pasal doktor, pasal patient. patient komplen pasal doktor, pasal nurse...bla...bla...everything goes around in a circle.

kadang2 hidup dah cukup bagus pun, kita masih komplen lagi. duit banyak pun, kita masih komplen, sebab duit dah banyak nafsu pun tambah banyak. last2 duit tak cukup dan yang makin banyak tu hutang. tak kisah pasal duit ke, pasal study ke, pasal masyarakat dunia ke, pasal kawan yang byk songeh ke, atau pasal ex-boypren yang menyakitkan hati. ye..ye..jgn komplen.

aku menyampah kadang kala bila terpaksa menyumbang telinga mendengar komplen orang2 ni. dan sebab aku sendiri menyampah, aku berpendapat orang lain pun akan rasa menyampah bila aku sendiri komplen. sebab itu, aku try untuk kurangkan komplen dan bersyukur dan terima je apa yang dah jadik. hadapi dengan senyuman.

tapi, aku dengar jugakla komplen orang2 tertentu. aku suka kalo orang komplen, dan akhirnya dia sendiri yang sedar i.e. mak aku. mak aku kuat komplen jugak. setiap hari, time lunch, aku dan bapak aku jadik pendengar setia komplen2 mak aku. penat jugak jadik cikgu. masalah budak2, masalah buku rekod, masalah cikgu2 sekolah dia yang kuat ampu tp keje kurang, masalah tesis dia, itu ini..situ sini la masalah. tapi, yang bagus pasal dia, dia ada initiatif sendiri nak setelkan rasa tak puas hati dan masalah2 tu. dan kadang2 dia nasihat aku adik bradik macam mana nak handle problem atau orang2 yang buat sakit ati.

tak gemar kalau dengar komplen pasal perangai orang lain yang menyusahkan. sebab tu, aku tak tau nak tolong cam mana. orang tu sendiri kene sedar perangai dia yang nyusahkan orang. bagi aku, bersabar jek la dengan perangai orang2 macam ni.

tak gemar jugak orang lelaki yang kuat komplen. sebab komplen ni keje pompuan. bukan la nak sexist. tapi, pompuan ni walopun lemah fizikal, kuatnya pada mulut. tak semua pompuan dpt mengubah sesuatu dengan kederat sendiri, maka mereka gunakan kuasa mulut diorang la. so, lelaki kene jadik cam bapak aku. tak banyak komplen, dan kalo bengang pun, usaha la untuk mengubah masalah tu. cakap banyak tapi haprak pun tak dak..baik jadik pondan.

sori la, terpaksa pula baca psl aku komplen psl orang yg kuat komplen. tak kisah korang nak komplen, asalkan aku cuma jadik tukang dengar jek. nak kasi nasihat, aku tak pandai sangat. kalo aku, bunuh jek orang buat sakit hati tu...ahaha...eh, takdelah. bulan posa ni, tak baik bunuh2 orang. kalo tulis komplen dalam blog takpe. kalo tak suka baca, bole tekan 'alt f4' bila2. takpun, tulisla komen/komplen kat blog ni. dan kalo aku tak suke komen tu, aku buat dek jek. tak pun aku jawab sesarcastic yang mungkin. peace.

Maaf

Orang kata tak kenal maka tak cinta.

Orang kata 'dont judge a book by it's cover'.

Aku kata, benar sangatlah kata-kata itu. Sekaligus, membuat diri sendiri merasa malu. Malu kerana menghakimi seseorang itu tanpa cuba mengenalinya. Terasa nak sepak diri sendiri.

Well, benda dah jadik. Nak buat macam mana. Harapkan Tuhan je maafkan diri ini. Dosa aku sesama manusia tu, wallahualam. Aku sendiri kena usaha minta maaf, kan?

Minta maaf secara terbuka buat sesiapa yang terasa dengan artikel 'mabuk'. You know who you are.

Mungkin Galway bagi aku dah nak kiamat kerana adanya orang-orang yang enggan turut serta apabila sesuatu majlis itu diadakan. Yang A tak nak ikut majlis B, sebab cara B tak kena dengan gaya A. Vice versa. Tak pasal2, kita pun berpecah belah. Aku harapkan, apabila dah ada banyak persatuan, kita makin teguh. Nak buat apa2, semuanya berjalan lancar, dan tak banyak bertingkah. Sememangnya, kita tak boleh pertikai usaha orang perseorangan itu dalam merapatkan sesebuah unit masyarakat itu. Tak kisahlah dari sekecil-kecil watak seorang penceduk kuah kari ayam ke setinggi-tinggi jawatan seorang presiden.

Aku tak pernah tak ambil kisah atau bersikap semberono terhadap usaha2 orang-orang ini. Percayalah, ajak sahaja aku ke majlis apa2 pun, (asal ada makan dan boleh berborak gembira sambil melupakan buku buat seketika), pasti panjanglah langkah aku. Cuma kalau boleh, biarlah kena dengan budaya kita sebagai orang Malaysia dan pastinya kena dengan tatasusila kita sebagai umat Islam. Tersimpang dari itu, tak nampak lah muka ni.

Dan yang pasti, aku entitled to my own opinion. Cuma, biasalah, manusia ni kadang2 mudah terlajak kata. Cakap tak ingat nak pandang kiri kanan, lupa nak jaga hati orang.

Minta maaf. Minta maaf. Minta maaf. Maaf Zahir Batin. Tulus ikhlas dari insan yang hina dina ini.

Peace.

The rest of me.

I knew I am Japanese..haha...sort of..

I found a cool website, www.myheritage.com, from Farah's blog (promote sket)..It runs face recognition, to seek few other famous people who looked like you. Kinda self-esteem booster... :p Well, even the beautiful actors and actresses has their own "not-so-good-looking" side..which is us...the commoners...ahaha...Peace!

Poopie trap

This is a great experience indeed.

We missed the horse fair in Ballinasloe, as both me and Saz went back to Galway last weekend.

But the horse left something for us..their 'waste' all over the street, from our home in Dun Esker to the hospital (which is about 20 minutes walk from our house).
And the smell!! Astaghfirullah!! Thank God for the blocked nose!

We hopped along the street, hop..hop..hop..to escape the 'poopie' trap.


Yeah, me and Saz..I bet we can win the Teng-Teng tournament, if there's one.

We're thinking of going to the funfair last night, but the thought of stepping on the horse poo killed the idea. Yeah, missed the Merry Go Round. Missed the Ferris Wheel. And maybe missed winning the ugly pink teddy bear from 'Hit the Can' or 'Shoot the Hoop'

Well...atishoo! atishoo! They all fall down..lalalalalala....

Peace.


P/S: Dr Clarke's team is superb! LOVE THE TEAM!

for the love of MINI

Gosh!

For the last 2 weeks...I've been seeing MINI!!!





The blue metallic, the royal grey and the yellow MINI One
The solar red metallic MINI One Convertible
The space blue MINI Cooper S Checkmate.

sigh

I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I LOVE MINI. I love you. But your love is too expensive.



Yeah, you know I love you so...lalalalalalala....

mulut

Kerana mulut badan binasa.

Berjenaka ada batasnya. Mungkin tak nampak seketara sempadan Sarawak dan Kalimantan. Malah, apa batas berjenaka? Sukar nak diukur, kerana manusia dilahirkan berbeda-beda.

Batas yang mudah adalah yang terlahir dari perasaan yang terzahir. Andai aku gelak, maka jenakalah ia. Andai aku berkecil hati? Kurang ajarlah namanya.

Kerana mulut badan binasa.

Pesan pada diri: Bermula Ramadhan ini, aku berdiam diri sahaja. Bercakap akan hal yang penting sahaja, kurangkan maksiat mulut i.e. mengumpat dan bergosip dan andai berjenaka, biarlah kena dengan gayanya. Kurang dosa mulut. Kau orang, macam mana pula??? Tak insaf-insaf ke??

Lucu. Orangnya baik, agamanya lengkap, sopannya ayu. Tapi mulutnya? Cabik...Cabik....

smile

Last night (approximately 2am), Nina called me. She's back in KL, for her grandma's funeral. For someone, who has been staying in oversea for a long time, I'm surprised that she had forgotten the time difference between KL-Ireland. I guess, grievance confused her.

It's a 15 minutes call. Yet, she seemed (sound) quite happy. Jovial and bubbly as always. She refused to talk about her grandma, whenever I asked her about it. She didnt know this, but I regarded her as Angel of Happiness. She emanated happiness to those around her even though she's in a low mood. One day, I'm afraid, she'll burst so hard for bottling up too much, too long.

I wonder why she called me too early in the morning. And sincere as she always is, she admitted that she called me to querie about him. Nothing about the grandma. Ahhh..should have known that. I told her, simply, that both me and him got bored with each other. Full stop. After all, why should I spare my sadness to others who is in the cloud anyway?

Instead, I filled her in with stories on my lovely Irfan. Irfan this, Irfan that. As I done talking about Irfan, she blurted out, "Marisa, you're so obssessed with Irfan. Luckily, my short term memory is functioning well or I would have thought that he's yours!!"

I laughed. Of course I'm obssessed with him. Anyone (who is in the situation as me) would feel the same way too. Irfan is a unique baby. He smiles all the time. But the best smile would be the one as he wakes up from sleep. Such lovely and sweet smile that is. He smiles when you bath him, change him, feed him....all the time! And for someone (like me) who dont get much smile from others, I find that, a great blessing.

- A smile can make one's day. A sincere acknowledgement can make one's day. An effort to listen to others whining can make one's day. People like Najaa, or Mazni, make other people like me feel very happy, because they smile all the time, and when they do, they smile wholeheartedly. When you live long enough, and learn to study others behaviour, you'll notice that smile can be of many sort: sarcastic, innocent (yet not), flirtitious, ignorance.... Those sort of smiles - make you feel further down the hole.

I'm sorry I dont smile a lot. I sneer, smirk, make faces, but I dont smile. Lame as it may be, but I cant smile. I can blame the assymetrical TMJ and the small eyes, but I wont do that. That would be...ingratitude.

-Senyumlah selalu. Senyum itu sedekah pada hati yang gundah-

budak baru vs aku

Semalam, budak2 baru sampai.

Semalam jugak, aku sedar aku dah final year.

Aku agak, macam ni lah perasaan akak2 final year masa kitorang pertama kali sampai di Galway. Teringat balik dengan akak2 yang sehousemate dengan aku masa aku mula2 sampai dulu. Kak Aida yang comel, Kak Zeti yang sarcastic, Kak Fida yang lemah lembut dan Kak Ida yang pendiam. Aku nak kater "terima kasih" buat akak2 ni, sebab diorang la, tahun pertama aku kat Galway ni, aku agak tabah sket. Especially buat Kak Zeti yang tarik aku masuk teksi, yang kemudiannya sedar dia dah tersalah amik budak. Kalau tak, aku dah lama dok Ardillaun. Nasib aku tak dok Ardillaun...no offence....eheh....

Kadang2 kita slalu perasan diri kita ini muda sentiasa. Cewah. Sampailah satu tahap itu, di mana, kita dah dikelilingi oleh orang yang lagi muda dari kita...barulah kita sedar diri ni dah tua. Tiba masa dah nak blah dari sana.

Ye, terasa diri sangat tua (walaupun umur masih 23), sebab tengok budak2 baru ni comel2 dan kecik2 belaka. Punyalah zaman akak2 senior aku dulu, besar2 dan tinggi2 belaka. Orang makin naik tahun makin kecik...pelik...

Dah tua, maksudnya jugak dah maju ke depan. Tak kisah ah, bidang akademik ke (statik..tak pernah2 nak overall 1st class), bidang ekonomi ke (agak maju sebab duit saham dah masuk ribu2 ngalahkan duit saham mak), agama ke (mundur sedikit sebab cuti summer aku jadik "setan"), atau sosial (mundur jugak....)...

OVERALL: statik

Tak tau lah nak jadik apa ngan aku ni.

Ye, aku budak final year. Tahun ni, aku dipanggil kak Marisa. Cukup tahun aku grad. Aku tak pandang jauh. Tak macam orang lain, aku takde wawasan. Wawasan aku ialah to get through every day, alive.

Generasi ke-8

Dah sampai Galway. Bosan pulak. Rindu ngan Irfan. Rindu ngan Dudin. Rindu ngan mama dan papa.

Semalam, kakak aku cerite dia dah botakkan si Irfan. Nak kasi tumbuh rambut baru. Harap2 raya nanti, tumbuh lebat sket. Aku tengok gambar "irfan botak", cina abis muka budak tu. Tak kene langsung dengan bapak nyer yang melayu itam tu. Ikut belah kakak aku yang cina putih la..ehehe.

Pengajaran dari intro yang singkat kat atas tu, aku nak cakap, janganlah memilih pasangan hidup semata2 nak anak yang comel. Contohnya, tengok kakak aku ngan husband dia. Keluar anak, comel gak, putih cam mak nyer. Ahaha. Contoh lain, tengok mak bapak aku sendiri. Mak bapak aku dulu, mak aku putih, bapak aku cerah...ahaha. Tengok2 kuar anak sorang, si Azam, gelap abis......ahahahahah..tapi muka iras2 cina. Aku slalu panggil dia cina itam...ahaha.

Hari tu, kakak aku cerita masa dia kat Sibu, Uncle Philip i.e. adik mak aku, pun ada kat Sibu gak time tu. Dia baru balik dari NZ masa tu sebab nak trace family member, nak buat kitorang punya family tree. Rerupernyer Irfan ni cucu pertama datuk nenek cina kitorang dan merupakan generasi ke-8 dari keturunan Wong yang start dari Tanah Besar China. Agak lucu jugak sebab Uncle Philip beriya2 try nak translate nama kitorang ke sebutan cina. Nama "Marisa" jadik "Malisa". Nama "Muazzam" jadik "Mu Ah Cam". Si Izzuddin jadik "Ih Ju Din". Nama kakak aku "Ruhiyati" tak dapat tukar. Last2 Uncle Philip pakai jek nama timangan dia iaitu "Dayang" jadik "Diana"....ahahahah...Gelak abis aku dengar nama baru kakak aku...dari sedap2 nama Indonesia, jadik nama orang putih...eheheh.....

Kazen Peggy aku, anak Uncle Sinang, kawen bulan 12 ni. Beriya2 diorang suruh kakak aku datang, sebab nak Irfan ada kat majlis tu. Cayalah....Irfan ketua generasi ke-8 keluarga Wong...tabik sama lu Mat Pan!!!

bodoh sombong punya dot dot

Apa beza antara bodoh sombong dan pemalas?

Andaikan satu pasangan suami isteri sedang berkereta nak pi melancong. Yang suami ni, jenisnya bodoh sombong. Masa dalam perjalanan tu, diorang sesat. Suami ni, tanya jalan tak nak. Suruh tengok map, tak nak. Malah si isteri offer nak tanya dengan orang lain pun dia tak kasi. Si suami ni, rasakan dirinya hebat sangat. Ego. Tak payah mintak tolong dengan orang lain. Padahal dia pun tak tau di mana mereka. Akhirnya, pasangan suami isteri tu tersesat jauh sampai masuk area yang lengang. Kalau nak cerita drastik lagi, akhirnya pasangan tu kene rompak tengah jalan. Dalam hal ini, bolehlah nak dikatakan si suami tu bodoh sombong.

Bagaimana pula suami pemalas? Suami pemalas ni, suruh tanya orang dia malas. Suruh tengok map dia malas. Disuruhnya saja isterinya bertanya dengan orang lain. Akhirnya mereka tiba jua di destinasi mereka, tetapi lambat sedikit. Tak kene rompak, tapi duit banyak habis beli minyak sebab jalan pusing2.

Antara bodoh sombong dan pemalas, lebih baik jadi seorang pemalas. Walaupun kerjanya lambat siap, tapi siap juga akhirnya. Kalau jadi bodoh sombong, bukan sahaja kerja tak siap, kalau pun siap, jadinya macam ntah apa2.

Pemalas buat orang susah hati. Orang yang bodoh sombong buat orang sakit hati.

Sudah lah bodoh, tak paham2 pula dirinya bodoh. Kemudian, tambah bodoh sebab salahkan orang disekelilingnya yang bersalah.

Contoh terdekat, artis yang tak reti cakap melayu. Sudahlah bodoh, disalahkan pula kerajaan, malah keturunannya kerana tidak reti bercakap bahasa melayu. Kalau benar dia berdarah Arab, bercakaplah bahasa Arab..kenapa English? Kalau dia berdarah Cina, bercakaplah bahasa Cina..kenapa English? Kalau dia berdarah India, bercakaplah India..kenapa English?

Kalau benar keluarganya bercakap English, masakan orang gajinya bercakap English? Masakan makcik jual nasi lemak cakap English? Masakan pakcik jual durian cakap English? Oh, mungkin dia tidak makan nasi lemak dan durian kerana dia "English". Mau dia tidak empunya orang gaji, sebaliknya dia dilayani seorang "butler". (Kerana itu, aku sokong amik orang gaji dari Indon, seelok-eloknya mereka mengajar anak2 kita berbahasa Melayu walaupun dengan slang Indon)

Disalahkan pula kerajaan kerana dia tidak bisa bercakap English kerana Sains dan Matematik diajar dalam bahasa English. Macam lah semasa subjek Bahasa Melayu, Sejarah, Agama diajar dalam bahasa English.

Maap lah, cerita tu dah lapuk. Tapi, sempena hari merdeka yang dah nak dekat ni, aku coretkan jugak rasa hati. Aku rasa orang itu sangat bodoh. Sudahlah bodoh, sombong pulak tu. Siap perlekeh bahasa negara sendiri. Aku pergi Germany, siap jumpa pakcik Germany berbahasa Melayu indonesia. Ke Jepun, siap dibawa melawat istana di Osaka oleh seorang Japanese yang fasih berbahasa Melayu. Orang asing lagikan berlumba mempelajari bahasa kita, kita pulak buang bahasa sendiri ke tepi.

Maap jugak lah bahasa melayu aku lintang pukang. Walaupun bermak-bapakkan Munsyi DBP, bahasa aku sememangnya sangat lintang pukang. Aku bukan bodoh sombong nak salahkan mak bapak aku yang bukan Melayu, atau nak salahkan kerajaan sebab hantar aku ke Ireland untuk belajar sampai lupa hukum-hakam tatabahasa, tapi aku salahkan diri sendiri pemalas sebab malas nak belajar bahasa sendiri.

Lepas ini aku akan jadik rajin sedikit. Bukan setakat bahasa melayu, lepas ini, aku terer kan lagi bercakap bahasa melanau, cina dan iban. Berkhidmat untuk rakyat, beb. Tambah lagi hutang dengan kerajaan RM756,000.

Selamat menyambut hari kemerdekaan yang ke-49. Pengajaran merdeka kali ini, jangan salahkan orang kalau kita tak maju, salahkan diri sendiri kerana tak usaha lebih. Kita sama ada pemalas ataupun bodoh sombong. Antara pemalas dan bodoh sombong, lebih baik jangan jadi kedua-duanya. Lebih baik jadik rajin, doa banyak2 dan tawakal...Cam mana Tuhan nak ubah kita kalo kita sendiri tanak usaha ubah diri sendiri....

sakitnyer badan...

Selepas balik "bercuti" di Kuala Lumpur tempoh hari, aku ada masalah dengan bahu aku. Nak kata terkehel, tak juga. Nak kata patah, lagi lah tak mungkin. Kemungkinan besar bahu aku ni kejang, sebab mengendong backpack 35lb satu hari.

Memang agak sial jugak lah sakit bahu aku ini. Kalau di rumah, aku lah yang selalu diharap buat kerja2 berat ie angkat benda2 berat. Dengan bahu yang kejang ni, aku rasa hopeless dan worthless di rumah.

Melihat kebengangan aku bermalas-malasan di rumah, mak aku syorkan aku pergi mengurut.

Sedap jugaklah, diurut satu badan. Oh, jangan salah sangka...aku pergi mengurut kat Persatuan Orang Buta di Kuching ni. Bukan di rumah2 urut yang heboh diperkatakan oleh TV3.. RM23 untuk satu jam. Lepas kena urut tu, badan aku terus jadik lemah longlai...but in a good way. Rasa ringan sangat badan aku ni..aku syorkan rawatan mengurut ini untuk semua penagih syabu yang selalu nak rasa "high".

Ok lah jugak servis yang diberi oleh makcik buta itu. Daripada pergi mengada2 dengan awek2 di rumah urut tu, lagi bagus mengurut kat pusat macam ini..pada masa yang sama, dapat membantu golongan ini. Bak kata pusat itu "Help the blind to help themselves".

Tapi, bila aku fikir2, aku tak pernah pun nampak rumah2 urut di Kuching ni. Tak macam di KL. Kelab malam pun tak banyak. Tapi, jangan salah sangka. Aku tak pernah jejak kaki di kelab malam. Nama pun orang Islam.

"teringat dengan member tu. pergi bar tapi tak buat apa2. minum coca-cola jek." - alah, dah dekatkan diri dengan tempat jual alcohol tu dah kira haram. kalau nak cola, kedai mamak pun ada....

Oh balik ke cerita asal. Macam lah benda2 yang menyebabkan keasyikan sementara ni ie dadah dan alcohol, urut2 ni pun satu jenis gak. Sekarang ni, badan aku terasa sakit2 dan lebam2 lepas kena urut dengan makcik tu. Memang power siot tangan makcik tu. Adeh la.....sakit badan nih....

kuasa

Kuasa itu, kadang2 satu anugerah yang tak bermanfaat dan kadang2 digunakan untuk menindas orang lain.

Siapa kata kuasa itu gunanya baik? Jarang sekali aku melihat orang2 yang memegang kuasa ini, menggunakannya dengan sebaik-baiknya demi kepentingan orang lain selain dirinya dan keluarganya..

Aku andaikan orang yang berkuasa itu seperti orang yang memandu kereta2 besar, macam Xtrail..Rexton..Pajero gitu ah. Dan orang yang tak ada kuasa itu contohnya macam aku yang cuma memandu kereta Kancil.

Ceritanya sebegini.

1. Si berkereta besar tadi dengan sedapnya sahaja cilok kanan cilok kiri atas jalan. Sebagai pemandu kereta kecil, aku memanglah takut. Takut kena langgar. Ye lah, kereta kecil aku ini, memanglah orang tak pandang...

2. Sememangnya aku tak dipandang. Sedap lah lepas itu, kereta aku kena langgar. Bila saja aku minta nombor nak claim bayar repair kereta, dengan muka lagak, si pemandu kereta itu terus suruh ayahnya yang duduk di sebelah setel kan. Dengan muka selamba, si ayah terus hulur 4 keping not RM50. Macam kasi Rm5 jek gayanya. Tak nak kasi nombor. Kereta kecil ni murah saja repairnya..

3. Dengan mood yang tak best, aku teruskan journey ke hospital. Hospital ni satu hal. Pantang lambat sikit, memang dah tak ada parking. Akhirnya aku terpaksa parking jauh. Yang tak best, banyak kereta2 besar makan space. Sekali ambil 2 parking spaces...

Gitu la bila tak ada kereta besar. Gitulah bila tak ada kuasa.

1. Bila tak ada kuasa, orang tak pandang.

2. Bila tak ada kuasa, orang layan kita macam sampah.

3. Bila tak ada kuasa, orang senang2 rampas hak kita.

Banyak lagi analogi lain. Paling ketara sekarang ialah bagaimana umat Islam dilayan. Kerana kita tak ada kuasa. Kita cuma ada kuasa dalam negara sendiri. Dalam OIC. Itu sahaja. Yang memegang tampuk2 kuasa besar sekarang ialah musuh kita.

Keadaan kita sekarang umpama kayu lempung ditebuk kumbang tembus-menembus. Dalam erti kata lain, kita yang lemah ini mudah sangat diperbagaikan oleh orang yang berkuasa.

Ya, kita memang lemah. Kalau fesyennya begini, ikut sahaja. Kalau muziknya begitu, ikut sahaja. Kalau filemnya begini, ikut sahaja. Betapa lemahnya kita hingga kita bagai kerbau ditarik hidungnya.

Ahaha. Lemahnya. Sukarnya hidup tanpa kuasa. Alangkah bagusnya kita sebagai umat Islam empunya kuasa.... Tapi, sebijak mana kita akan menggunakan kuasa itu kelak....Wallahualam..

Hepatitis dan zina

Berzina tu memang dosa yang besar amat. Besar sebesarnya. Murka amat Allah SWT dengan orang yang berzina, sampai terang dan jelas hukuman yang Dia tunjukkan kat umatnya yang lain.

Semalam, aku join klinik Gastroenterology di SGH. First time aku join clinic, conducted by specialist, yang benor2 diajar oleh specialist tu. Kalau kat Galway, duduk dengan consultant, kekadang malas betul nak ajar student. Nak cakap busy, tak jugak. At least dia ada reg, SHO tolong conduct clinic. Ini, kat SGH, specialist tu sorang2 conduct clinic. Layan aku bukan main best. Time tengah borak2 ngan patient pun, boleh ajar aku lagi. Memang dah khatam pasal hepatitis dah aku ni. (oh, majority patient yg datang klinik hari tu patient hepatitis). Siap boleh habis on time pulak tu. RESPEK SIOT....

Yang slack pasal specialist ni, BM dia kureng sket. Kengkadang dia suruh aku translate apa dia cakap dekat patient2 Melayu/Native.

Specialist tu, Dr S, ajar aku pasal hepatitis B dan C. Quite common in Malaysia. Any old hepatitis cases found before 1995, with known history of surgery, or blood transfusion, we can then assumed that transmission is via contaminated blood. Dr S kasi tau, blood screening for hepatitis viruses cume start kat Malaysia after 1995. Selepas tahun itu, kes hepatitis disebabkan oleh contaminated transfused blood memang "zero", kalau ada pun jarang banget. Therefore, any new cases of hepatitis thereafter is either by intravenous drug user/abuser (IVDU) or sexual contact. Dr S claimed, he has 60 patient with hepatitis. 2 with known due to sexual contact. Tu tak termasuk partner2 yang tak dinotify or diagnosed..

Ubat memang mahal. Patient infected with genotype 1 will need medication for at least 1 year. Itu pun, hopefully, virus tu clear by that time and not resistant towards antiviral. At least RM 30, 000 is needed for the patient. Kalau kerja kerajaan, senang sikit. At least government boleh tanggung. Kalau tak???

Okeh, balik citer asal. The next patient is a Malay boy, age 18. Baru diagnosed of hepatitis few months before. Mode of transmission? Sexual contact. Bukan seorang. He admitted dengan ramai perempuan. Aku punya malu teramat sangat bila disuruh Dr S translate, kasi tau dia, dia kene panggil awek dan ex-ex aweknya untuk datang cek darah, kalau2 diorang pun kene hepatitis gak. Entah berapa banyak la pompuan2 dia dah transmit kan virus ni..ARGH! Bengang nyer bile kene nasihat sesama orang Islam berhenti minum arak, nasihat dia kene ingat2 pakai contraceptive... Dia tengok aku pun malu semacam. Malu kat aku dan sorang lagi nurse yang bertudung dalam bilik tu. Mak dia yang accompany dia tu? Mesti ah lagi malu giler...Nak malu apa? Pandai buat, pandai lah tanggung malunya. Bila patient tu dah blah, Dr S kasi tau, aku kene ignore rupa orang tu, tak kire alim ke, orang dari keluarga baik2 ke, mesti ada yang tak kene. Kalau tak, mana diorang boleh kene hepatitis, kan? Budak tu, nasib baik hepatitis nyer under control, virus tu dah clear dan tak payah makan ubat. Ikut hati, bior jek dia dapat hepatitis tu. Padan ngan muka kaki zina tu. Ish...kejam la pulak kan.... Takpe la, biar tuhan "manage" dia...

Bak kata, Allah tak terang2 cakap dalam Al-Quran betapa besarnya dosa berzina, kalau untuk saja2. Ni, tuhan betul2 nak tunjuk balasan buat seseorang yang berzina sehinggakan cepat banar datangnya balasan tu. Ingat kalau tak kene tangkap basah, atau awek tak pregnant tu, atau kene tangkap kes buang anak, atau kene pukul ngan bapak orang, kira dah lepas? BOLEH BLAH! Banyak lagi cara tuhan nak kasik balasan... STD ada.. HIV ada... hepatitits ada...

Kalau tak kat dunia ni...kat akhirat tak leh lepas daaa....

Bak kata, janganlah berzina atau hisap dadah...dapat HIV or Hep nanti, aku gak yang susah... Aku pun tumpang takut nak amik dan cek darah korang....

Buckingham Zoo...opps..Palace

Tahun ini, dua kali aku visit Buckingham Palace di London. Sekali dengan Amira, the second time dengan Pulut. Overall, dah tiga kali aku pi Palace tu. Masa first time dulu dengan Saz.

Setiap kali pergi, memang ramai bebenor orang melangut kat depan gate Palace tu. Ternanti2 kalau2 the Queen, or the princes keluar dari Palace tu. Macam orang pergi Zoo..tercenguk2, terintai2, terjerit2 (eh.. aku ah tue..ahaha) suruh binatang keluar dari kandang...ahaha..kesiannya.. (sesaper peminat2 Prince Harry or William tu, jangan marah ah..samakan diorang ngan monyet kat Zoo plak..). Tapi, sepanjang pengalaman aku, aku tak pernah pun nampak diorang. Kalau nampak pun, kat Madame Tussaud. Itu tak yah cakap la. Siap boleh peluk2, bergambar ngan diorang. Tak aci ah...

Masa aku pergi dengan Pulut, aku ada bawak digicam comel aku sekali. Hari tu, langit London biru sesangat. Awan2 dia pun comel2 belaka. Ramai betul foreigners lepak2, dan Londoners berjemur2 kat sana. Aku dan Pulut ada gak bergambar kat Palace tu, tapi dengan digicam Liyana. Dia pun tak kasik lagi gambar tu kat aku....kasik la weiiiiii........ahahah....

Luckily, masa aku pergi Palace tu dengan Pulut, kitorang dapat tengok exchange of Guards. SMART sehhh....

Ok ah.. ciao dulu.

takde idea!!

Aku takde idea.

Ditambah pula dengan internet yang serba lembab di M'sia ni. Otak pun jadi lembab.

Minggu ini tak ada cerita menarik. Sepanjang minggu ini, aku duduk di rumah sahaja. Bermain dengan baby Irfan. Layan Azam bermain PS2, sambil menyumpah2 game Forbidden Siren yang serba susah tu. Tidur petang. Bangun awal pagi tengok bola. Kalau lah aku di Ireland, gerenti aku tak payah bangun awal2 pagi.

Walaupun di rumah aku ni ramai orang, aku terasa bosan pulak di rumah ni. Kalau di Ireland, walaupun duduk seorang2 di rumah, sekurang2nya aku broadband..ahaha...boleh layan Youtube. Tak pun, jalan2 di town, shopping sampai kredit kad kene tendang. Kat sini, tak boleh nak suka2 pergi town..dah lah jauh, nak pegi kene pakai kereta. Nak pakai kereta, mak aku nak tak nak jek kasi. Dah tu, minyak kene isi sendiri (aku dah la pokai). Parking pulak satu hal. Bak kata, memang la best balik M'sia...makan sedap, lepas rindu ngan family (and BF), jumpa geng2 lama... tapi kebebasan agak terbatas :p

Minggu depan dah start attachment. Rasa takut pulak. Takut terasa macam bodoh kat hospital nanti. Aisehhh....

Hmm...

Susah jugak balik Msia ni. Dah terbiasa duduk negara orang, macam dah tak biasa duduk negara sendiri. Bukanlah nak cakap aku ni sombong dengan tempat sendiri, atau tak patriotik ke, aku ni traitor ke... Tapi, dah empat tahun di negara orang. Membesar dan menjadi matang di negara orang. Dan bila aku compare kehidupan aku di sini dan di Ireland, ternyata aku lebih gembira hidup di Ireland...

At least kalau di Ireland, aku tak kene siul2 dan jeling2 dengan mat2 lepak tepi jalan...

RIMAS!!!

Rendesvous with the Ugandan

Susah nak jumpa orang baik pada zaman sekarang ini. Kalau iya pun orangnya baik, kita pasti terasa was-was. Entah2 kata dan lakunya saja yang baik, tetapi ada niat buruk di sebaliknya.

Wujud ke "angel"?

Part 2

Selepas kami di"interrogate", sukar hendak melelapkan mata selepas itu. 30 minit kemudian, seorang staf Manchester Airport menegur kami. Namanya Mr. Majid. Berwarganegara Uganda, berslang Indian dan beragama Islam. Melihat aku terbaring dengan tidak enaknya di atas kerusi, dia mengajak kami tidur di rumahnya. Aku dan Amira jadi serba salah. Takut. Was-was. Otak berkeliaran membayangkan seribu kemungkinan.

Tapi, kami ikut sahaja dia balik ke rumahnya. Di rumah mewah itu, cuma ada dia dan isterinya, Mrs Gulanar, yang baru sahaja menjalani pembedahan. Bertambah rasa serba salah kerana menyusahkannya. Anak perempuannya kinidi Blackburn, dan yang lelakinya di London. Kedua2 pasangan suami isteri kesunyian di rumah itu. Oleh itu, mereka benar2 gembira akan kehadiran kami.Mereka benar2 pasangan yang baik. Jarang hendak jumpa insan2 yang ikhlas hati hendak menolong "strangers". Siapalah kami bagi mereka? Tapi, kata Mr Majid, "it's not good for girls to sleep here (airport)".

Mewah benar layanan mereka. Kami bukan dilayan seperti seorang tetamu, tetapi seperti anak mereka sendiri. Dijamu makanan walaupun sudah lewat malam,diberi tour satu rumah..hingga ke bilik tidur mereka sendiri, tidur di bilik anaknya yang indah, dikejutkan untuk sarapan, disediakan sarapan, dihantar ke train station, dibelikan jajan buat bekal perjalanan, malah siap ditanya ada duit atau tidak untuk membeli tiket train!

Betapa baiknya mereka. Kerana itu, Amira regarded them as "angel".

Makanya, aku percaya, biar dunia sudah lintang pukang dengan kejahatannya yang mengatasi kebaikan..masih ada lagi insan2 yang baik di dunia ini. Mereka itu, seperti berlian di dalam lumpur. Sinarnya bukan bertujuan untuk menyesatkan, tetapi untuk memberi kegembiraan. Aku berdoa kepada Yang Maha Esa, agar kebaikan Mr Majid dan isterinya dibalas dengan pahala yang setimpalnya. Semoga rezeki mereka murah sentiasa. Amin.

sleephobia?

26th May, 2006

Aku dan Amira, yang pada asalnya bercadang untuk menumpang tidur di rumah teman Shima, kemudiannya membatalkan niat itu. Sebaliknya, kerana hendak menjimatkan wang dan malas hendak berulang-alik, kami memutuskan untuk tidur sahaja di prayer room di Manchester Airport.

Sebenarnya, sesiapa pun tidak dibenarkan untuk tidur di prayer room itu, kerana prayer room itu adalah kegunaan umum. Agama mana-mana pun boleh pakai. Tapi, sebab dah terlalu penat, kami tidur sahaja di bilik itu.

Tak pasal-pasal, belum sempat aku mencapai REM stage, satu suara kasar mengejutkan kami. Aku yang mamai, melihat Amira terpinga-pinga memandang aku. Rupa-rupanya, di hadapannya, berdiri seorang polis dengan muka yang garang amat.

Tak pasal-pasal, kami kena marah.

Polis: You can't sleep here. Didn't you see the sign? Where are you going to?

Aku: I'm sorry. We're going to Dublin, from Blackpool.

Polis: Then, what are you doing here?

Aku: We just came from Alton Towers, and we're going to take the train from here to Blackpool.

Polis: You can't sleep here.

Aku: Yes, we know. But I'm waiting for the prayer time. Here's the prayer time schedule.

Polis: No, no, no. Prayer time is at 10am (menunjuk ke arah waktu solat Isyak yang sepatutnya 10.30pm, bukan am).

Aku: No, this is 10 at night. We pray 5 times a day. I'm waiting for this (menunjuk ke arah waktu Subuh jam 02.58).

Polis: Sunrise is at 4.30. Come back at 4.30.

Aku: No, we have to pray before the sunrise. That's why I wait here.

Muka polis itu tak puas hati. Lantas dia meminta untuk melihat pasport dan tiket kami.

Polis: Have you ever involve in any crime?

Aku dan Amira: NO... (Stupid. Even a criminal won't admit to his crime, apatah lagi innocent people like us)

Polis: I have to do a body check on you.

Selesai sahaja dia berhubung dengan temannya di control room, kami pun clear. Takde pun nama kami dalam "wanted list" mereka. HAHA.

Polis: Okay. All is clear. Now, you have to go at 2. Wait elsewhere, but not here.

Aku: Where can we go?

Polis: You can wait at the lounge, but only for the night. We used to have homeless people sleeping and staying in the airport. It's not good for the airport to have those sort of people. That's why you can't sleep here.

Aku: Okay. (muka aku macam orang homeless ke?)

Polis: Okay, thank you. (Thank you????? You should apologise...)

Begitulah keadaannya apabila disoal siasat. Alhamdulillah, aku cukup tenang ketika menjawab soalan2nya. Mungkin otak masih mamai selepas tidur yang tak lena, jadi tidak mampu nak merasa panik.

Aku agak terkilan dengan apa yang berlaku. Apakah kerana kami beragama Islam, lalu dianggap "berbahaya"? Lalu disoal-siasat sebegitu rupa? Walaupun sekadar "body check", aku kira itu agak melampau. Tidak cukupkah ID yang mengatakan kami warganegara Malaysia dan penuntut di Ireland? Atau mungkin aku yang melampau, menganggap yang bukan2 sedangkan itu mungkin itu memang rutin kerjanya..

Entahlah. Aku kira, beginilah keadaannya semasa Islamophobia mula2 bertapak di UK setelah kejadian 9/11 itu. Di mana, pada waktu itu, setiap yang berjanggut, berkopiah, bertudung dan bernaung di bawah nama Islam, di tanah besar itu, "berpotensi" menjadi seorang terrorist. Sedih. Umat Islam pada masa itu, tidak lagi dihormati dan dilayani dengan buruknya.

Phobia. Wujud kerana gagal untuk memahami sesuatu. Tatkala kita gagal untuk memahami "nature" sesuatu perkara itu, maka kita mudah takut akannya.

Islamophobia? Wujud kerana mereka gagal untuk memahami bahwa Islam itu agama yang menganjurkan kebaikan sesama umat Islam sendiri dan juga umat lain. Sebaliknya, Islam itu dianggap sebagai agama yang mewar-warkan kerosakan dan huru-hara.

Yang pastinya, Alhamdulillah, kerana kami tidak perlu tidur di penjara malam itu... Kalau tidak, aku pasti phobia hendak tidur di airport di lain hari. PHOBIA, kerana aku tak paham, apa salah dan silapnya untuk tidur di airport...AHAHA!

perihal belajar

Huhu.

Aku sudah di penghujung tahun ke-5, and yet I still cant grip the fact that I'm going for final year this September.

Who would thought that, this Marisa, who first came to Galway, as a 2 in 1 student, would eventually reached her final year? Aku pun tak sangka. Rasa macam baru semalam aku di tahun ke-2..kini sudah tiba masanya untuk aku menamatkan pengajian di NUIG. Halamak!

Perasaan agak gusar. Gusar kerana aku tau, aku benar2 tidak bersedia untuk menghadapi final year. Setiap tahun, aku melalui setiap semester semput2 sampai kadang2 hilang nafas dan kederat tulang 4 kerat. Aku akui, semuanya silap diri sendiri, sebab dah nature aku, suka nak belajar last minute. Tambahan lagi, aku memang tidak berminat nak belajar perubatan pada asalnya. Minat itu hanya wujud tatkala aku di tahun ke-5 ini.

Aku expect, aku antara salah satu insan yang akan "gugur" di tahun terakhir nanti. Sebab itu aku resah dengan expectation orang lain, termasuk mak bapak sendiri. Mengikut gaya aku yang pemalas ini, negative expectation itu sudah melekat di kepala otak aku. Namun, itu bukanlah bermaksud aku akan mengundur diri dan tidak mencuba untuk melakukan yang terbaik. For me "AIM FOR THE BEST, AND EXPECT THE WORSE". Hanya dengan itu sahaja, aku tak akan rasa menyesal.

Finally, aku benar2 bersyukur buat Yang Maha Esa, since selama aku belajar di NUIG ini, aku tak pernah gagal, biarpun usaha aku sekadar cukup makan. Terima kasih kerana menganugerahkan aku otak yang mampu menyerap ilmu di saat2 terakhir. Yang paling penting sekali, terima kasih kerna sentiasa memberi ketenangan buat aku selama aku di sini. Dengan ketenangan itulah, aku tak perlu gentar apabila melihat teman2 lain yang rajin dan berusaha bagai nak maut...tak perlu gentar akan teman2 Irish yang lain....tak perlu gentar apabila menduduki peperiksaan...

......tapi, kenapa suara aku kecik semacam time presentation???

Akhir kata, aku belajar bila dah ada mood. Tak perlu ikut rentak orang lain. Bila hati tak hendak nak belajar, otak pun tak nak jalan. HEHE.

Jangan risau, aku masih lagi seorang yang tidak membuat perkara2 "ntah apa-apa", walaupun aku tidak belajar. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....

The "LIST"

I always thought that I am the kind of person who has no desire to do anything wild or crazy or something people would remember me by etc etc. In other words, not having a "What-I-want-to-do-before-I'm-25" list... Yeah, the same list seen in the film "A Walk to Remember". It's reasonable for a person who knew when he/she is going to die to have such list. But, for me, who know nothing of when I'm going to die, or even what's going on in my body, do such list applicable?

I bet, everyone has their own list. Be it what you want to achieve in your school years, or what you want to buy in the future, or even what you're going to name your baby...it's definitely a long, long list. The important thing is, whether you can accomplish every single thing in the list or not, depends on that person's motivation/drive.

I started having my own "list", since I first came to Ireland 4 years ago. I guess, having more freedom, more access to the world to move around as well as having my own money..makes it all possible. So, what I've been wanting to do before I'm 25 are...

• To play in all the theme park in the world

This summer's target is visiting the Alton Towers and Blackpool's Pleasure Beach and Genting Highland with Pulut and Liyana. Barcelona's Port Aventura is next year target (jum Roque!!)

• To own a MINI.

It doesn't matter which model, but MINI One Seven or MINI Cooper or MINI Cooper S or MINI Cooper Parklane would be nice..... (droollllll.......)

• To visit Vietnam
• To pass my degree and become a cool doc!...cewahh!!

Nothing grand or sweet comparing to Mandy Moore's list..but it's a good start..and it's easy to be done..ahaha!! And I have to attain all this before I'm going home to Malaysia, for good!!

Muhammad Irfan

Alhamdullilah. Sis selamat melahirkan seorang baby boy pada jam 4.30am 12hb Mei 2006, di Sarawak General Hospital. Aku gembira teramat sangat. Kedua2 ibu dan anak selamat dan siaht walafiat. Muhammad Irfan nama diberi, lahir seberat 3.52kg (average weigth of Irish newborn, so quite heavy for an Asian newborn).

Aku doakan semoga Muhammad Irfan akan membesar menjadi seorang yang baik. Baik dari segi agama, akhlak, akal, ilmu and the list goes on...

Iran dan uranium

What they say?

The Iranian: "It is not fair that we should have all the obligations but not enjoy the rights." Regarding the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty.

The Chinese: "We are in favor of a diplomatic solution. We are never in favor of the wanton use of force or the threat of force." Regarding the British and French-sponsored resolution.

The American: "..the letter, which covers history, philosophy and religion, did not help resolve the nuclear standoff. This letter is not the place that one would find an opening to engage on the nuclear issue or anything of the sort. It isn't addressing the issues that we're dealing with in a concrete way. The letter criticized the United States over a host of issues, including the response to the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks, the invasion of Iraq and U.S. support for Israel. It made only an oblique reference to Iran's intentions about its nuclear program, asking why any technological and scientific achievement reached in the Middle East region is translated into and portrayed as a threat to the Zionist regime."

(Regarding the letter, the first such communication between Tehran and Washington in 27 years, which was said earlier by Ahmadinejad as "important news". He also said, "What I said in my letter was the demands of Iranian people and our nation. I discussed our views, beliefs and positions regarding international issues as well as some ways out of problems humanity is suffering from."

The Indonesian: "We want Iran to be more transparent in its program. We also want Iran's nuclear development program ... to fulfill the standards of the International Atomic Energy Agency. Developing nuclear energy was a basic right for every country."

Finally, the Iranian (again): .."it has the right to enrich uranium for a peaceful civilian nuclear program to produce electricity and has refused to comply with a Security Council demand in late March to suspend enrichment."

Apa aku fikir?

- the uranium is in the Iranian soil, so why bother?

- why deny of their rights, when they have been obligatory towards the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty?

- uranium is undoubtly a nuclear source...but not every uranium= terrorism.

- a democratic country such as UK should know better not to resolve on threat on force.

- finally, never dismissed an important letter (especially by a country who has the ability to conduct a nuclear attack on you, whenever they want to)..It's so obvious that "sapa makan cili dia yang terasa pedasnya".

Aku sokong Iran dalam hal ini, kerna ternyata, uranium itu adalah milik mereka, dan mereka berhak buat apa sahaja dengannya. Apatah lagi, mereka mengikut segala protokol perjanjian tersebut, dan mereka menggunakannya untuk kebaikan negara mereka, bukannya untuk menyerang dan membunuh orang lain. (Although they did say, they would retaliate if they are attacked... sapa yang tak??!)

*terasa bijak plak diskus hal negara orang. sedangkan hal negara sendiri, tunggang langgang...tak sedar plak...

Kuli

Hari ini hari "kuli" aku.

Jadik kuli setiap 6 minggu.

Antara kerja seorang kuli Snipers ialah, pada hari Ahad:

• clean the bathroom
• clean the kitchen
• clean the hallway
• do the laundry (kitchen towel and the bathroom rugs)
• clean out the garbage
• cook on Sunday
• put out the garbage bins (on Tuesday)
• do the groceries shopping

Itulah kerja seorang kuli untuk the whole week.

Aku start pukul 5.30am, after Subuh. Siap kerja semua, pukul 7am. And then ke Aldi jam 11.30am, beli groceries. Penat gila balik tu. Rasa macam nak tercabut scapula dan tulang bahu aku mengangkat barang2 groceries. Satu tangan angkat beg plastik penuh dengan vegies and the other hand, carrying a bag of breads and milk. Tambah lagi a bagpack full of fruits

Kan best kalo ada kereta? Tak le terasa kuli sangat!

Tapi, bila aku fikir2, takdelah susah sangat pun kerja kemas rumah ni. Barulah faham perasaan seorang orang gaji, bibik, amah, maid..whatever. Dan juga seorang ibu. Nasib aku membesar tanpa seorang amah. So, mama (dan papa) memang mengajar aku dan sis aku untuk rajin kemas rumah. Kalau lah aku seorang yang manja dan dependent on maid (and mum) to do all the housework, mesti aku akan terkapai2.

Kecik2 lagi, dari darjah 2 aku dah kena sental baju dan kasut sekolah sendiri. Kadang2 kena basuh baju Azam (lemah betul aku ngan daki kat kolar baju sekolah si Azam ni. Tambah lagi nak kene sental stokin dia yang hitam nak mampus tu). Setiap hujung minggu kena sapu dan mop lantai rumah. Kadang2 kene kerahan tenaga bersih lalang kat laman rumah. Lepas tu, cuci kereta. Mula2, aku pemalas gila. Kadang2 naik angin, sebab time2 hujung minggu lah banyak citer kanak2 yang best. Tapi, dah besar, aku tak kisah buat semua tu. Jadik macam rutin. Kalau tak buat, rasa macam tak kena.

Mama siap suruh aku "tak payahlah cuci kereta tu selalu..." Ahahaha.

Nasib minggu ni, minggu terakhir aku jadi kuli kat rumah ni. Lepas tu aku cuti 3 bulan. Kepada Roq, kalo ko baca post ni, sebab tu la aku gelak2 kat dalam toilet tadi. Gelak happy sebab lepas ni aku tak yah jadik kuli lagi sampai cuti! Tapi ko still kene, Roq....ahahahahahaha.

Yang pastinya, bulan Mei mengingati kita akan Hari Ibu..Untuk Mama, 16 Mei yang akan datang (yakni Hari Guru) juga signifikan..Mama kan seorang guru :) Tapi, sayang aku buat Mama, bukan pada hari2 ini sahaja..sayang buat mama, kekal hingga nafas aku yang terakhir..dan ingatan buat mama pasti kekal hingga dia pergi... Doa yang terindah buat mama!

"Dan Tuhanmu telah memerintahkan agar kamu jangan menyembah selain Dia dan hendaklah kamu berbuat baik pada ibu bapamu dengan sebaik-baiknya. Jika salah seorang di antara keduanya atau kedua-duanya sampai berumur lanjut dalam pemeliharaanmu, maka sekali-kali janganlah kamu mengatakan kepada keduanya perkataan "ah" dan janganlah kamu membentak mereka dan ucapkanlah kepada mereka perkataan yang mulia. Dan rendahkanlah dirimu terhadap mereka berdua dengan penuh kesayangan dan ucapkanlah "Wahai Tuhanku, kasihilah mereka keduanya, sebagaimana mereka berdua telah mendidik aku waktu kecil"." (17:23-24)

So, appreciate your mum! Dont treat your mum like a maid, respect and love them as much as you love yourself. I stil remember, the early signs of approaching doomsday is tatkala seorang ibu melahirkan tuannya. Well, not a strange thing in our society..Sad, isn't it? Sigh..