
Last night (approximately 2am), Nina called me. She's back in KL, for her grandma's funeral. For someone, who has been staying in oversea for a long time, I'm surprised that she had forgotten the time difference between KL-Ireland. I guess, grievance confused her.
It's a 15 minutes call. Yet, she seemed (sound) quite happy. Jovial and bubbly as always. She refused to talk about her grandma, whenever I asked her about it. She didnt know this, but I regarded her as Angel of Happiness. She emanated happiness to those around her even though she's in a low mood. One day, I'm afraid, she'll burst so hard for bottling up too much, too long.
I wonder why she called me too early in the morning. And sincere as she always is, she admitted that she called me to querie about him. Nothing about the grandma. Ahhh..should have known that. I told her, simply, that both me and him got bored with each other. Full stop. After all, why should I spare my sadness to others who is in the cloud anyway?
Instead, I filled her in with stories on my lovely Irfan. Irfan this, Irfan that. As I done talking about Irfan, she blurted out, "Marisa, you're so obssessed with Irfan. Luckily, my short term memory is functioning well or I would have thought that he's yours!!"
I laughed. Of course I'm obssessed with him. Anyone (who is in the situation as me) would feel the same way too. Irfan is a unique baby. He smiles all the time. But the best smile would be the one as he wakes up from sleep. Such lovely and sweet smile that is. He smiles when you bath him, change him, feed him....all the time! And for someone (like me) who dont get much smile from others, I find that, a great blessing.
- A smile can make one's day. A sincere acknowledgement can make one's day. An effort to listen to others whining can make one's day. People like Najaa, or Mazni, make other people like me feel very happy, because they smile all the time, and when they do, they smile wholeheartedly. When you live long enough, and learn to study others behaviour, you'll notice that smile can be of many sort: sarcastic, innocent (yet not), flirtitious, ignorance.... Those sort of smiles - make you feel further down the hole.
I'm sorry I dont smile a lot. I sneer, smirk, make faces, but I dont smile. Lame as it may be, but I cant smile. I can blame the assymetrical TMJ and the small eyes, but I wont do that. That would be...ingratitude.
-Senyumlah selalu. Senyum itu sedekah pada hati yang gundah-