hailstorm.hell yeah!

It was raining yesterday evening. Hailstorm more like it.

I've no umbrella (left it at St Nich, and so not in the mood to show my face there again... in case the nurses ask me to do out-of-hour-small-favours), and as I stressed in my earlier post, I walked to and fro to the hospital.

It was hell. Hurt like hell.

I only wore a short length, military style (NEXT) black coat. With the hood on, I braced myself for the storm.

As the ormst got worse, I had to pull on my hood even lower to cover my face. Imagine having little icy stones, at meteorite-like speed hitting your face. Not one, or two, or three...but hundreds. I doubt that even the renown Plastic Surgeon (in UCHG) can do anything with the stone-hit byproduct. Hmm. So, my hands and my legs..even my bum was severely injured by the hailstones. Hell yeah...

I've no gloves on. Indeed, a failure to check the weather report. Never did. Never will. The weather changes like a women's mood. At one point it's sunny, next few minutes it's snowy. As so to say. So, while holding tightly on my hood, my fingers got numb. Poor arterial blood supply (vasoconstriction of arteries to accomodate vasodilation in more-needed organs.. such as brain "brr sejukkk", stomach "laparrrrrrrrr" and kidneys "nak kencing..tak tahan dah!") to my fingers.. doomed to gangrene.

And to make matter worse, I already at an early stage of pneumonia.

And I had no lunch today. And I've been holding my pee since 12pm. Wow.

So, how was your day?

Save our Planet. Pollution and greed made the season went wrong. Its winter during summer, autumn and spring... brrrr....

misi

Moh le aku cerita pasal hari Sabtu. Dah busan. Hidup pun macam kelawar dalam gua. Nak jalan pi mana2 kedai tutup. Sejuk dan hujan pulak tu. Sakit tulang aku nanti. Muda2 dah arthtitis. Hallux valgus sudah ada, cukupla. Paham dak aku cerita ni?

Alkisah, hari Sabtu nu aku keje. Oncall la. Bukan saja2 nak turun keje. Gile hape? Aku stat keje jam 9am, abih nye 9am esok pagi. Tapi, sebagai doktor ni, keje ni mana bley ikut hour. Patut balik kol 9am, aku balik jam 12pm hari Ahad semalam. Mana bley kol 9am tepat dah cek out. Oh tidak. Andai kata la aku tengah boh cannula time tu, takkan la aku nak tinggal cannula tu half way through ngan patient berdarah2. Mau kene saman aku nanti. Hour keje doktor ialah berterusan. Continuous care la katakan. Kengkadang ada doktor kene tepon jam 3am sebab masa tu la theatre available nak operate patient. Cam tu sekali???? Korang tak kesian ke kat doktor...keje cam hamba abdi??? Gaji ciput jek??? Buat salah sket nak saman???? Kadang2 busy sampai nak makan??? Aku kasik racun kang baru tau....

Alamak, emosional pulak. Ni susah ni, dok rumah sorang2. Roq pi Italy. Landlady pulak balik kampung. Maka keje hari Sabtu tu, aku tak busy. Semua orang riuh balik kampung. Semua lupa nak sakit dah. Kalau sakit pun tahan la...nanti tak dapat makan sedap2 kat rumah. Makanan spital mana sedap. Tambahan pula dilayan oleh "waiter/waitresses" Polish yang slang ala2 robot. Balik2 chicken or fish. Balik2 jelly or rice. Tapi, lagi sedap la dari makanan kat Msia. Ye ah, hari2 dok pau makanan bapak aku masa dia kat spital. Dia post-op kan, mana bley makan...

La ni nak cite. Ada sorang patient aku ni ARF/ATN secondary tu NSAID. Tapi aku rasa, dia renal failure sebab low perfusion post-op. Tambah lagi, dia ada reduced kidney mass untuk memfilter darah sebab previous renal cell ca dan jugak dia immobile post-op so ada risk of rhabdomyelosis. Gembira kan bila keje? Baru dapat apply semua ilmu yang belajar time Uni dulu!Management senang sahaja. Especially sebab dia ada good urine output maksudnya diuresis capability dia bagus. So, kite kasik la IVF banyak2. Dan aku tak risau dia fluid overload yang pi ke CCF, sebab ECHO dia menunjukkan normal heart valves dan EF 60%. Cun....

Benda lain aku kene cek ialah to make sure dia tak acidotic. Metabolic acidotic la. Sebab bila poor renal function, nanti ada eletrolytes imbalance. Bicarb, pH, K+ semua kene jaga. So aku wat la ABG. Pi hantar gi ICU. Tang2 kat ICU tu bleep bunyik sampai 3 kali. Hampes la, aku tengah busy, so aku lambat la sket jawab bleep. Tetiba Eka kasik tau, nurse St Dominic dah bising2 sebab aku tak jawab bleep. Hangin aku ni. Aku ada emergency, engko biar betol.

Aku: Yes 902. 902 tu vascular intern on call nyer bleep number.

Nurse: Dengan nada kerek dan marah2 "Where were you??"

Aku: I was in ICU. Emergency. Patient's in renal failure.

Nurse: Dengan nada sedikit malu "Oh so that's where you are."

Aku: Yes, so what's your EMERGENCY (aku tekankan sket perkataan ni...)

Nurse: Oh, one of Mr Quill's patient had her scan, and she's going for OGD later. Should we keep her fasting?

Aku: Wow, that's so emergency. She's going for OGD, so keep her fasting LA! Bye!

Apa kene nurse ni??? Sudah terang lagi bersuluh. Aduih la nurse. Engko tu pengalaman keje lagi lama dari aku. Jadik nurse dah bertahun2. Muka pun dah kedut2. Pakai logik la. Kalau tak pasti pun, biar je la patient tu fast. Tak mati la. Budak2 kecik kat Afrika tak makan seminggu, berpanas satu hari pun hidup lagii. Ni patient dok terbaring atas katil tak wat apa2, dapat IVF, setakat puasa satu hari tak mati punya la.....

Kalau patient buat hal, aku tak kisah sangat. Ye la aku berkhidmat untuk rakyat. Bukan untuk nurse kan. Ahaha. Tapi kalau patient banyak songeh, kita pun naik hangin gak le. Tapi telan air liur saja la. Toksah la ludah2 patient.Sebabnya dia sakit dan dia tau kat kita la tempat dia ngadu macam2 dan pelik2. Tapi kalau nurse? Hah..kalau ngada2, memang patut kene carut. Sebab, dia tau kite keje susah, dia susahkan lagi keje kita... itu memang green light mintak penampor!

Dont get me wrong. Aku sebenarnya doktor paling baik le ngan nurse. Aku tak cam orang yang muka masam jek bila nampak nurse. Atau yang berpura2 gelak ketawa ngan nurse depan2 tapi kat belakang carut2. Atau yang bila nurse ngada2 sket, trus mencarut tampar nurse tu. Atau..atau..atau...

Bank Holiday 1

Hari ini cuti Bank Holiday. Aku duduk2 di rumah sahaja.

0340: Terbangun dari tidur. Terlupa nak tutup lampu bilik dan laptop.

Naik lagi la bil eletrik bulan ini. Tambahan, tariff letrik di Ireland naik setiap tahun. Kalah Msia. Orang Irish tak gila minyak, diorang gila letrik. Sebab kena pakai heater 24 jam. Rugi la kalau tak peras rakyat dengan menaikkan tariff letrik.

Bangun tidur, terus layan movie Die Hard 4.0 di internet. Pekena kopi panas dulu, supaya tak sembelit pagi2.

0530: Pause movie sekejap. Solat Subuh. Lepas tu, pi dapur masak bubur oatmeal. Lagi, untuk elak sembelit pagi2. Masalah sembelit saya ni....

0700: Gosok gigi dan cuci muka. Belum nak mandi lagi, sebab dah mandi tengah malam semalam.

Standard ah dok Ireland, mandi satu kali sehari. Lain la lepas keluar operation theatre atau lepas bersukan, mandilah dua kali. Buat apa nak buang air dan letrik macam orang Msia? Lagipun, gile apa mandi time sejuk2 camni 8 degree celcius ni. Hari itu sudah kena pneumonia...tidak mau kena lagi. Bak kata emak, busuk2 sendiri bau la.

Saya tak busuk.

0715: Makan breakfast sambil baca novel "Plea of Insanity".

0740: Kemas dapur dan termenung sekejap sama ada nak buat duit lebih atau tidak.

Kalau nak, boleh la ke hospital join SHO dan Reg buat ward round. Selain dapat tau pasal patient, boleh la buat kerja sikit2 supaya tak rushing hari Selasa nanti. Malas pula. Saya pun bukan gila duit macam Irish dan doktor2 laki Msia kat sini. Ahaha. Yelah diorang dah berumahtangga, apa hak saya nak bising2 kan? Itu keje binik diorang la kan?

0800: Sambung layan movie. Sambil menanti movie di-download, saya baca blog orang2 kat Internet. Menarik pula membaca post2 selepas PRU12. Kisah DSAI, Pak Lah, KJ etc. Saya balik ni, saya pun nak bertanding la dalam PRU. Ahaha. Malaysia Boleh tau, semua orang pun boleh jadik menteri. Lepas ni, dah takde sapa nak jadik cikgu, lawyer, tukang sapu, nurse...

0900: Tak habis download lagi. Saya layan guitar letrik plak. Praktis main lagu. Dah ada pedal, layan la.

Ini la orang kita. Bak kata bapak saya, everyone wants to be a rockstar. Takat dapat main kord A, C ngan G jek dah ngaku rockstar. Pedas tu...

0945: Baru habis download movie. Layan la movie tu sampai habis...

1109: Bukak blog sendiri. Terasa nak tulis sesuatu yang berfaedah, tapi tidak ada idea pula. Maka hasilnya begini....

Lepas ni, saya fikirkan sesuatu OK?

Peace. Ciao.

Kata-kata

Dalam mana2 pertandingan, untuk menawan hati penonton/pengundi/para juri... yang penting bukan rupa, ilmu, pangkat atau kekayaan. Yang penting ialah keupayaan untuk berkata2.

Untuk berkata2, ada dua elemen yang penting. Sifat dan niat. Iya, sifat dan niat tidak ada dalam Tatabahasa Dewan. Tapi, dari segi amateurnye, boleh la nak diringkaskan sebegitu sahaja. Maap ye.. saya ni doktor, bukan pakar linguistik bahasa macam mak bapak saya. Kalau sapa2 nak carik gaduh, pi jumpa mak bapak saya ye.

Contoh sifat kata adalah amarah, manja, sedih etc. Contoh niat kata adalah bohong, ikhlas etc. Itu sahaja. Tapi, unsur2 lain yang penting dalam berkata2 termasuklah tatabahasa, phonetik... tapi saya tak reti bab2 tu. OK?

So, kalahnya A sebab sifat kata2 mereka berunsur amarah dan persenda dan niat kata2 mereka berunsur ugut dan bohong. Dan menangnya B sebab sifat kata2 mereka berunsur patriotis dan lembut dan niat kata2 mereka berunsur jujur dan adil. OK?

Kita bukan lagi manusia zaman batu yang mana kata2 diukir dengan simbol. Atau setakat manusia zaman kertas yang mana kata2 ditulis dengan abjad. Kita manusia zaman Media Massa yang mana kata2 itu diluah di TV/Radio/Internet. tambah lagi, manusia zaman sekarang malas membaca....tapi rajin mendengar. Tak kisah la berita sahih atau gosip semata2. Main telan je. OK?

Walhasil, sesiapa yang bijak berkata2 dan kena dengan mediumnya pasti dapat memukau hati pendengar. Macam pemenang Raja Lawak Musim Kedua baru2 ni, Ahmad Nabil (aaa...).

Siapa cakap saya tengah cerita pasal politik??

The next election will be in 5 years' time. 5 years for the Government to IMPROVE their WORK. 5 years for the Opposition to PROVE their WORD.

OK?

Ciao. Ini bukan post yang bernas. Ini post yang terhasil dari kebosanan tahap dewaaaa....Ingat aku reti sangat pasal bahasa ni???

10 hari

I was intensively depressed yesterday. Ye ah..sape tak sedih? Balik dari Msia je, 5 hours later dah kene turun keje!

Anyway, I really enjoyed my 10 days off in Msia. Tak sia2 balik cuti woo. Cukup tidur makan. Naik 3 kg beb!! HAHAHAHA. Mana taknya, setiap hari makan luar! Timing pun cantik, cuti sekolah kan... so banyak la geng lepak.

Hari 1:
Sampai Kuching 10.30 am. Sampai2 jek, aku terkezutkan bapak aku yang aku dah sampai Kuching. Terkezut gak orang tua tu. Mak aku siap balik awal dari sekolah ni sebab nak kompem bapak aku tak tipu. Ceh...sebenarnya, hari Jumaat tu suma sekolah tutup awal sebab esok hari PRU. EHEHE. Terasa istimewa lak.

NB Best tu tipu pramugara/pramugari aku balik semata2 nak ngundi. Kagum diorang kat aku. Nyahahaha. Siap announcement "Kepada rakyat Msia yang balik mengundi, selamat mengundi dan mengundilah dengan bijak"... Padahal, register pun belum! KAH KAH KAH!!

Kebetulan, kakak aku pun balik awal dari Serian and Datuk Azam MPP (ahahahha...busy bonar adik aku ni since jadik wakil MPP Unimas) pun balik same day. Sampai2 jek, aku qada tidur sampai lewat petang. Nyahaha. Malam dinner sedap, makan ikan terubuk and sayur midin masak belacan weiiiii...

Hari 2:
Borak2 ngan Azam. Balik lewat sebab tangkap budak2 kolej berasmaradana selepas parti2. Uish, rosak budak2 Uni*** ni. Pagi itu lepak rumah sahaja, sebab mak bapak aku pi ngundi. Kakak aku yang excited nak pi ngundi, tak dapek plak, coz nama dia tak ada dalam list. Sedih2. Lunch makan sodap lagi. Ye ah, lauk semalam, sedap ah. Lepas tu main2 ngan Irfan. Petang tu kitorang jalan pi check out dua new mega mall baru kat Kuching, The Spring ngan Boulevard. Woo..jumpa Amirul AF kat The Spring. Tapi aku usya kawan dia ah, coz gaya2 comel metrosexual ni. Kebetulan kawan Azam...hehehe. Lepas tu pi dinner kat Batu 7. Makan butter prawn, lemon chicken, black and pepper beef, sayu midin and mix vege. Kompem balik tu aku naik 1 kg. Dudin 2 kg. Azam 1 kg. And kakak aku 1 kg. Uish maintain ramping kakak aku ni walaupun pregnant. Dah 8 bulan ni, berat 63kg jek. Caya ah.

Malam pulak kitorang layan berita ah. Ye ah, result PRU. Lepas dapat tau BN Stampin menang, baru la mak bapak aku kasik tau diorang undi sapa. Ye ah, mana tau ada spy ke apa ke. Bandar Kuching jatuh kat DAP. Bengang mak aku. Yo ah, dia cekgu Sekolah Bandar Kuching No 1. Tak patriotik ni! Paling jenaka, bila Taib kasik tau result Ulu Rajang tak dapat lagi coz perahu karam...keh keh keh. Macam2.

Hari 3: Berebut aku teman bapak aku pi beli paper. Selangor, KL, Perak, Kedah and Kelantan kalah kat opposition. BN cuma menang majoriti mudah. Mahathir cepat2 kutuk Pak Lah. Time tang ni la, macam2 spekulasi aka post mortem aka analisis. Tak ku sangka banyak benor pakar analisis kat Msia ni. Hari Ahad itu la keje, best gak borak/ngumpat politik ngan bapak mak aku. Petang tu teman Azam p Lee Music Centre. Halamak...guitar heaven tu...

Hari 4: Bapak aku gi KL. Mak aku, aku and Dudin jalan2 pi town. Keje aku takde lain, carik CD pirate..ehehe. Petang tu, pi main bowling ngan Dudin and Nina. Ngumpat lagi dengan Nina..uish...mana berat tak naik? Ni tambah dosa ni padan ah berat.

Hari 5: Aku dok rumah jek. Sebab mak aku kene turun sekolah. Dia pun kene wat analisis gak. Analisis STPM. Kan dah cakap, banyak pakar analisis ni. Aku pun pakar analisis gak...ahahaha...tak nak kasi tau!

Hari 6: Kuar ngan geng Matrik pi makan kat Pizza Hut. Cam biasa aku la blanja kan...kaki pau kawan2 aku nih. Lepas makan tu tengok movie. Ye ah, memang tu je la kan yang biasa buat kalau pi kluar ngan geng. Makan movie. Pas tu makan lagi.

Hari 7: Mak aku blanja aku and Dudin breakfast kat luar. Ye ah, kene up energy ni nak bawak dia pi jalan2 carik kain...ahahaha... Haduh pening kepala aku carik parking. Susah ada mak yang law abiding sangat ni, kene park betul2, takleh kat yellow line...padahal bersusun kete parking sana, takdenya plak yg takut. Memang tak leh pun. Lesen Kopi-O ka??? Petang tu hantar Dudin pi main bowling lagi. Budak ni main cam bagus, padahal asik2 cuci longkang gak dia ni...

Hari 8: Hari ni dok rumah sahaja. Cam petang2 the day before2 tu, aku jamming ah kat rumah. Sedap men guitar Ibanez GRG270B Azam ni. Tambah lagi ngan Marshall Amp dia. Cam pro bila main. Praktis lagu Itu Kamu ngan Melompat Lebih Tinggi...eheheheh. Cun woooo... Bak kata Azam at least praktis dua lagu satu minggu. Yes Bos!! oh ye..setiap petang kalo aku ada kat rumah jam 2, aku layan Raja Lawak kat Astro Prima. Yo ah, eden jatuh cinta ni dengan Nabil budak Nogori tu. Kah kah kah.

Hari 9: Pagi tu, keluar pi pasar satu family. Pastu pi lunch. Before balik tu, diorang drop aku kat town centre. Lepak la dengan budak ex-BL. Lama tak jumpa ni. Sampai bengang la pacik McD tu kitorang parking kat sana dekat 3,4 jam. Tu ah, aku ajak minum kopi kat gerai mamak jek, diorang sombong ni. Padahal yang keje oversea tu aku...kah kah kah. Jangan marah Zah!!

Hari 10: Hari ni aku lepak kat rumah jek. Enjoy masa2 terakhir cuti aku ni ngan family. Layan and peluk cium Irfan puas2. Jamming puas2 ngan Azam. Aku pun pau pedal satu gak. Main and layan movie ngan Dudin. Gosip and borak2 ngan mak bapak and kakak aku. Sedih woooo nak balik keje...

Hari 11: Awal pagi jam 6.30 bapak aku antar pi airport.....

a doc's life

If someone ever feels cheeky and place a 'kotak komplen' or 'kotak cadangan' around the ward, I bet the whoever will have to empty the box everyday. OK, maybe every two day. Hey, intern busy tau. Kadang2 we dont have enough energy to lift up the biro coz we would write stupid stuff every day all day such as:
1. IV fluid
2. rewrite Kardex
3. consult (yang lepas tu kene gelak/marah/kutuk by the Reg)
4. notes in chart
5. blood form request

If anyone ever thought the life as a doctor starts as soon as you graduated, then you have to think again. As my previous consultant used to say, internship is just another step of training. You're not qualified as a doctor yet. Irish graduate should feel lucky that we are full pledged doctor after 1 year of internship. Unlike Malaysian graduate, it's 2 years tau! But they are so damn lucky cause they are practically prepared. And unlike us, we are theoretically prepared but practically terketaq-ketaq!

It may sound stupid cause we are INTERNS. What we do are what any other interns in any other dept do. Clerical work. Buy coffees for our boss (cause green scrubs are not allowed in cafe). Do errands for our boss' private patients. Try getting (begging more like it) for X-rays/Scans/beds for our patients. And we work from 8-6.

Yet, we're still considered lucky. We do stupid (here doggie, doggie) stuff, but still we make more than some of the bank manager in Msia. Cewah. But if someone ask me to choose money or to actually hold the scalpel and open someone up (legally...bukan bunuh2 belakang lorong), I will gladly choose the latter.

Anyway, I shouldnt be complaining. My two weeks' pay is more than enough for me to buy a return ticket to Kuching. So to say, with 3 months pay, I can actually bring my whole family to jalan2 in UK. And in my current bank account can afford XX people. Heh, pandai2 kira la. Not bragging here, cuma nak cakap, berjimat2 la sebelum tua. Hehehe.

This week has been very havoc. People have already received email re job/scheme interviews. Congrats to the few Msian colleagues of mine who managed to get the interviews. Kecoh2 jugakla nak carik orang cover oncall. Anyway, kat sapa2 tak dapat janganla sedih, peluang kerja banyak kat mana2. Was lepaking with boss the other day, he was saying there's lots of job vacancies in USA and Aussie. Itu kalau rasa gaji Msia tak best. Kalau tak, kerja kat Msia berlambak gak. Terasa panjang pulak merepek this time.

I cant sleep now, cause I'm hoping to get good early morning sleep in the bus. I hate the journey going back to Msia, but its the journey that makes the whole thing feels worth it isnt it??? Katakan my house is only 2 hours away, I wouldnt be thinking of home so much..more likely to lupa diri sebab manusia selalu tak appreciate whats in front of them, kan??

As I said before, the last few weeks has been very tiring. The reason being, we've been dumped with supposedly medical patient by the medical team. Contoh2 kes patient yang orang medical dump kat kitorang including constipation (gastro) and fall (geriatric). Ada jugak merequest for laparotomy even though patient NFR. Terpaksa jugak kitorang jaga...sebab one day, one of the patient actually said to us , "So, who is going to look after me?" after been dumped by the medical team. Arghh people, you disgust me! Other reasons include my Reg asking for unnecessary consults, my two Regs bergaduh sesama sendiri and kitorang cant decide on anything cause both of them say different things, we're ontake for 5 weeks in a row, and at one week we're actually ontake for 4 days in a row. From 6 patients we're up to 26 patients today. I dont know how Molly's gonna survive the next few weeks without me. Terasa bersalah pulak.

Wow, memang menyimpang jauh ni. Sorryla terpaksa layan cerita panjang2 pulak. Anggapla this is my 2,3 days nyer post. Cause I doubt I'm gonna write anything once I'm in Msia. When I'm on holiday, my brain automatically shut down. Reallllllyyyyyy.

Anyway, what I was saying earlier about the box was mainly to raise my kebengangan when it comes to nurses. Yes, we the doctors will always have some issues with them. No doubt about it. Sama la macam diorang ada issue ngan doctor. Kalau tak, tanya la my Reg. Takkan la pasal NFR dia nak tampar nurse the other day. Tapi rasa disayangi pulak. Sanggup nak carik gaduh ngan nurse tu coz seharian harassing me about the patient's NFR status...ehehehe.

Crap. Jum jadik doktor. Its a crap job where you deal with crap. Literally.

home

Hi
Its been a long time eh
Rindu?
Eheh.
The last 3-4 weeks had been so tiring.
Ini betul2 punya penat. Makan minum tak terjaga. Tidur pun tak cukup. I'm in a lot of stress.
So, I made a decision.
I'm going home. Today. For 10 days holidays.
No, I'm not going home because I miss anyone.
I just need the time off. I need rest. I need someone to FEED me.
Lots of things had happened since the last post. But I'm too psyche up to go home I cant think of anything.

Ciao. I wanted to surprise my parent about this, so I didnt tell them I'm coming home. So, please pray that I'll reach home safe.
Oh...everyone was so happy that I'm happy to go home...hehe...mesti diorang tau aku penat keje!