hey girl

The fat girl who wants to become thin.
The medium-size girl who thinks she's thin.
The thin girl who struggled to stay thin.

Hmm.

I'm medium size girl, who wants to become thin, but at the same time I think I'm thin enough and thus struggled to keep my own size.

Now...that's healthy babeh!

Currently high on junk food, take aways, caffeine and instant meals :) My dearie liver is going to scream and scringe with all these additives and colouring and preservatives thing I'm dumping her with! Nyeheheh!!!

New team

Haloooooooo!

New job with Mr Courtney starts off well. I got great Reg's and SHO. Well, I think Ali may have some preferences with Molly over me..but thats OK. At least I know Myles is fair.

I met the bos (The Don) yesterday. He was nice and friendly. Maybe too early to judge, since we have only 8 patients...none of them are critically or seriously ill patient. And he just came back from a nice Xmas hols.. (and he's going for skiing holiday in two weeks time. HOORAY!!)

But him going will be bad news for us for the next two weeks. The reason being..he has to do all his surgery before he goes on holiday. And we're on take for 3 days next week! Arghhh!! Expect 20-30 patients , man!!!

Anyway, I'm oncall tomorrow, and I'm in panic! This new hospital's cannula is so rigid that it's so hard to put it in. I MISS BALLINASLOE!!

And people in Ballinasloe miss me! Got a text from my ex-SHO, how they miss the previous interns..oh..so shweet!

Ok la..need to go to sleep. 'Life' starts at 7.30am..so, imagine how I felt early morning. Hungry, sleepy, cold and damn tired. BUT NOT CRANKY. I just love being a doc!

PS: A colleague is a colleague. Despite history. OK Nina?

2008

Lets commemorate 2007.

Its truly has been a very tiring and yet exciting year.

Final exam. Graduating med school. First paid (taxed) job. And finally it all ends well. Yup, I got a great recommendation letter from Dr Clarke.

I hope 2008 will be as nice as 2007. It will be a harder year to cope. Tougher people and all new challenges. And I hope I'll sail through it smoothly..maybe a bit bumpy.

Alhamdulillah. I managed to survive 2007. God has given me tremendous strength and will to go on. And God has given me lots of blessings and shown me love in harder times. Thanks.

Happy New Year.

xxooxx.

Kite tengok saper yang menang!!!!

Xmas chaos

Just like how we M'sian Muslim got psyche over Eid..it's the same way the Irish Christian got mad over Xmas.

The wards are so quiet. One ward was even closed because they're short of nursing staff (good news for intern oncall!). There's massive Xmas ornaments everywhere, and some of them gets into your face(no, I'm not short, they were hung low). Boxes of chocolates, Xmas cards, bottles of wine and hundreds other goodies lying around in the wards. Everywhre looks a bit messy, especially when Ethel is not around. On Friday, there's party everywhere.. the lab party, the physio party, the OT party...and I saw Dr Clarke rushing to every one of them..hmmm...

Anyway, we're down to 3 patients today. And Durkan has none (clap clap..you have 5 tonight..ahaha). Carol and Colin rushed home early today, they went home at 10.30am. Besides one annoying request to talk to family member, nothing else major happened. I managed to sleep from 2-5pm..

The daughter of one of my patient was pretty frustrated. Well, I can imagine how she felt. Her mum has been in for 3 weeks for diarrhoea. No infective nor organic cause was found. And yeah, we've ruled out the famous congestive enteropathy. Today CT TAP showed no abscess. We thought it might be a pancreatic abscess..the fact that she previously had CBD stricture(which was stented and biopsies were normal), malabsorbed and diarrhoeic (relieved with Questran). And so, she cant go home for Xmas. And the family cant celebrate Xmas happily, the fact that the mother is in the hospital. The daughter has been trying to speak to one of the senior member of the team..and she even brought her cousin who is a gastroenterologist! So, who am I to speak to him? Anyway, I did tried my best, and the daughter kept cutting in. Finally she said, "This is so frustrating. Imagine, she is your mother..". And so I said, "Yes, I can imagine how you felt. My father had a pancreatic abscess, and he had to be operated."

And only then she shut her mouth up!

I had lots of preliminary goodbye hugs. From Elaine the physiotherapist; Theresa, St John's ward clerk (Eka gonna hate me); Carol; Breege, the student nurse; Laura and Kevin, the surgical intern (Kevin's gay, so dont worry Say); and my good friend Andrea the ECG technician...

I'm on for Xmas. And luckily, the nursing staff on for Xmas are the kewl people I like. Hope its not too busy/difficult. This Saturday, I'm driving back to Galway, need to pack my stuff. Dont worry Say, I wont drive to fast...between 60 to 110...I think I'll do 90 (considering its going to be frosty)..

xxMUAHxx

Merry Xmas..hohohohehehahah!

suck it up

Suck it up Marisa. And deal with it.

Everything.

Betrayal. Hatred. Disapointment. Loneliness. Winter. Sickness. Cold.

Isn't this great? Life is full of colour :)

Do please note the sarcasm.

syncope

I fainted yesterday.

Haha. Funny isnt it. Yesterday was supposed to be my last day of work before flying back to Msia for my annual leave.

But, I fainted during the grand round. Luckily I sat at the back, so, I didnt create any big havoc. Tapi, sedap jugak la kena tampar ngan Dr Ahmad. And kesian gak ngan Dr Maher sebab kena angkat aku yang berat nak mampus nih. Ehehe. And Fais yang cuak2 nak amik darah aku..wooo..boleh tahan besar jarum ko Fais!

So, terpaksa la aku masuk casualty. Dr Clarke pulak lalu kat area tu, maybe dia curious, apa dah jadik ngan intern aku nih. Lepas tu dia cakap, " Pity you. We've overworked you. Lets check the blood, if it's OK, I'll let you get the day off before you fly tomorrow." Dalam hati, YEAY!!!

So, everything was fine. Bloods, ECG, CXR. Just pyrexic. Memang tengah demam pun.

And so, I was happily discharge by Dr Safwat. My diagnosis (concluded by me own...) ialah, vasovagal syncope secondary to dehydration and pyrexia secondary to winter vomiting disease....

Hahaha..jangan kasi tau sesaper..nanti aku tak dapat fly kalo kene kuarantin!!!!

i need something

I'm so crap.

I realised that I'm 24, and I'm crap.

I have achieved nothing. I'm just a plain medical intern. No great history. No trademarks. No experience that actually WOW anybody. No achievement that worth praising. I dont know how to play any music instrument. And it's too late (and too bothersome) to start now. My grammar is crap and my imagination is bad. I cant write a novel or book or even a diary. I'm not good looking. And I'm just a toilet-artist. I dont have cool new gadget, or even any modern tech knowledge. I cant even work around Photoshop. Even as a doctor, I feel that I'm just like a slave. I dont have a KEWL social life.

Hmm.

All around me, people actually achieved something. A PhD in Music. A trip all over the world. Meeting famous people. Won a writing competition. Becoming a top-paid model. Performed central venous line. Got married and have children. Own a cool photoblog. Go to concerts. Performing on stage.

Envious.

Me? Owh... nothing. I'm so down to earth. 6 feet under.....