Finally, some rest!
Alhamdullilah, hari ini cuti. Semalam, aku betul2 penat nak mampus. Bukan sahaja aku kene hantar 5 case commentaries semalam, semalam juga hari di mana aku kene present case. Penat siot. Aku tidur jam 4.30am dan bangun 3 jam selepas itu. Kerna bukan sahaja aku terlalu risau tentang commentaries dan presentation...tapi, kerna tak siap dan tak kaji berabis tentang discussion untuk case presentation tu. Sudahlah Dr Geoghegan jenis yang suka bertanya. Malulah kalau tak pandai jawab case sendiri kan?
Susah jadi budak U. Susah lagi jadi budak U yang study medic.
So, aku ada 4 hari sampai hari Isnin (bank holiday) untuk study OSCE aku jumaat depan. OSCE Paeds dan GP. Paeds okay sikit, sebab sekarang pun tengah attachment paeds. GP? Aku tak yakin sangat kerna dah lupa sikit2. Ahaha. InsyaAllah boleh. Masalahnya, aku takut nanti, time OSCE, suara tak keluar. Biasa lah. Sampai Dr Geoghegan dan Prof Loftus pun dah berapa kali suruh aku kuatkan suara time discussion. Hek eleh. Dah kuat la tu. Kuat sangat nanti, suara rockers pulak. Tak ayu la macam tu. Ahahaha. Prof cakap, keyakinan ada, jawapan betul..cuma tinggal suara tu macam burung pipit jek. Ahahaha. Funny la Prof ni.
Apabila fikir pasal OSCE, susah hati pun ada. Markah OSCE paeds 60 out of 200. So, equivalent to 30%. Kalau buat elok2, tak usah risau sangat untuk written paper dan slides. Allocated marks for written paper is 30% while for slides is about 10%. Untuk case commentaries, 15%. Berdasarkan hasil commentaries aku, aku yakin boleh dapat at least 8-10%. InsyaAllah. Kalau lebih pun, bagus jugak. 10% untuk kedatangan yang mantap setiap hari jam 9.30am selama 7 minggu ini, sudah dalam tangan. Tinggal lagi markah assessment sebanyak 5% oleh consultant dari away hospital. Harap-harap Dr Seamus kasi markah yang baik. Boleh kot. Dia baik jek...eh iye ke?
Irony kan. Kita belajar bukan nak jadi yang terbaik dalam bidang masing2. Tapi, cuma untuk make sure yang kita dapat capai certain target, so that kita dapat honours/pass dan seterusnya boleh proceed to the next stage.
Sebab itu, aku rasa medicine memang mencabar. Kalau setakat nak grade student berdasarkan written exam, MCQ or reports/thesis, memang senang. Cuma duduk dan hadap buku untuk 24 jam setiap hari, pasti dapat good results. Copy paste from internet dan claim it's our own work, senang jek. Tapi medicine lain. OSCE, bukan sahaja nak tengok berapa banyak ilmu kita tau, nak juga assess our confidence level in managing a patient, nak tengok our communication skills, as well as our examination skills. Kene explain, examine and at the same time being empathy. Ingat senang?
Try explaining to a mother what's vaccination is. Try explaining to a woman why she need a mammography. Try explaining the whole procedure of colonoscopy to an old man. Try reassure a lady that having UTI doesnt mean she has STD. Try asking a man who has smoke for 30 years to quit smoking. Try telling a 9 year old kid how to use insulin injection. Try telling a woman that the baby she carries in her womb has congenital abnormalities. Try explaining to a man that one of the side effect of his medication is erectile dysfunction. Try examine the prostate, breast and the cervix. Try telling a mother that her son's deaf. Try telling a teenage girl that she has juvenile chronic arthritis and how it affect her life. Try telling a lady she has malignant carcinoma and the prognosis is poor. Try, try, try!
It's not as easy as you think. Try explaining and being empathy at the same time. If a doctor tells you, "Hey, you have only 3 months to live.", how does it feel?
Or if a doctor tells you, "Sorry Mary. We have try everything we can, but the disease spread so quick that there's nothing we can do to stop it. Prognosis is poor, you have about 3 months to live. However, we will always be here to help you whenever you need us..."
See? It's not some script you can just memorize, but it has to come from the heart so that the patient feels valued.
Aku respek la sapa2 yang ambil medicine. Memang orang selalu cakap, budak medic tak ada life. Duduk menghadap buku 24/7. Kita belajar manusia. Kalau manusia tu macam kereta, enjin rosak, kita tau macam mana repair, spare part mana nak pakai. Kerna manusia adalah manusia, putus kaki tangan mana nak cari spare part? Lumpuh satu badan macam mana nak repair?
Sampai dah kering air liur practice macam mana explain diabetes, seizure, vaccination semua tu. Teddybear aku pun dah kontang kapuk sebab asyik2 jadi mangsa untuk aku practice cardiac compression. Try buat hip check tak boleh pulak, sebab kaki teddybear aku kontot. Kering air liur gak sebab malas nak turun pi dapur, dan sebab satu hari melalak lagu OST ichi ritoru no namida..
