HSB

Apa cerita pindah KL?

Not entirey hate it..coz now I'm with hubby and he's doing everything for me.. Alhamdullilah..

But I hate my workplace.
Stress.
I hate the department, not the people. But the posting in it.

Tak dak hati.

And now I'm ging to have PIH because of it..

Ceh..

transfer

Transferring soon.
Despite feeling lonely most of the time in Limbang, encountering annoying patients & relatives, lousy colleague to work with, upsetting administrative problem..

I like working in Limbang.

Nice and friendly nurses.
No specialist or consultant to scold or scrutinize the way I work.
Not much of workload, but quite frequent oncalls...I can take it..

Thats it???

Sigh...ye la..ye la..time to move out of here!

2011!

So, 2011 is tomorrow.

My new year resolution is simple, to take a good care of myself..

That includes, taking a break, a long holiday if I need to..
Splurge money unnecessarily if I want to..
Eat as much as I can..

That's it. I believe no matter what you're up to for new year, nothing worth it if you sacrifice yourself if the process of achieving your resolutions.

new life

A new life in me.
Alhamdulillah.
Allah answered my prayer.

Had to struggle the first few months on my own.
The nausea, vomiting, lethargy..
Despite the loneliness, thank God for the presence of good nurses, and considerate colleagues to help me around.. :)

Anyway, the coming CNY is going to be tough on me. Hope the ward job will be light, and the calls will be cool.
Or, hope I'll get transferred before that!

Pray for me and the baby safety, and I thank you for that :)

apa sengih2...

Scenario 1
Me, upon reviewing a G10P9 lady at the OPD
Me: Kak, brapa orang anak kitak mauk tok??
She: Cukupla yang ni..
Me: Kitak ada merancang ka?
She: Eh..ada..makan pil.
Me: Uish, terer betol akak rancang ni..setahun sekali beranak...
She: Heeeee..... (Sengih...)

Scenario 2
The day before, a colleague had covered the round in the maternity ward. He was 'mengamuk' when he came upon a G6P5 who refused to deliver at a Specialist Hospital.
The next morning, before I did the ward round, the nurse told me what had happened. So as I approached the lady, first question I asked:
Me: Best tak kene marah ngan doktor laki semalam?
She: Heeeeee.....(Sengih...)

Scenarion 3
Me upon examination a Primi at 40w4dPOG
Me: Uish, rasa-rasa besar baby ni. SFH pun 42 cm. Brapa tinggi kamu?
She: 155cm doktor..
Me: Saya rasa mau2 3.9-4kg baby kamu ni. Kene beranak potong ni.
She: Eh doktor, tanakla. Takut.
Me: Eh, kene la. Nanti, kalau kamu cumba beranak biasa, baby tak dapat kluar..koyak teruk..banyak hilang darah.
She: Takpe la doktor.
Me: Ok la..kalau apa-apa jadik dengan kamu masa beranak nanti, saya dan nurses saya buat tak tau je la. Biar je la kamu terkontang kanting nanti. OK? Kalau kamu setuju, saya biar kamu beranak biasa..amacam?
She: Heeeee.....(Sengih....)

os full!

cerita ini hanya khas utk medical people jek..sebab org lain sure tak paham..

misi: doc, patient still 6 cm since 3 hours ago la..tapi, station dah zero.
me: hmm, contraction cantik. tinggal sejam jek nak action line nih. CTG macam tak cantik..macam type 1..meh saya VE..

VE punya VE, sekali MMSL. Maka, aku pun S&S patient tuh. Sekali, os full, dah crowning!

me: jangan teran! jangan teran!
misi: doc, conduct je la!!
me: tanak, nanti kotor kene liquor!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Dengan pantas misi aku cepat2 pakai glove and conduct delivery. After baby out, macam biasala..misi tu membebel sebab bikin dia panik. Dia pun tak sempat pakai apron. Nasib baik tak kene splash ngan liqour...

HAHAHAHA..sori la kak Mas...hahahaha....

RM5 billion

A hospital will only be functional if..

..we have our own ICU, with our own ventilator..
..we have more ambulance, a functioning ambulance, not the one that cant accelerate more than 100km/h..
..we have specialist in the main departments..
..we have blood bank service, so we dont have to send the donated blood to specialist hospital to be processed..
..we have up to date ultrasound scan machine, and maybe a CT machine..
..we have social welfare department to help with the poor patients..
..we have money alocated for the social welfare department..
..we have better lab service with adequate reagent..
..we have better pharmaceutical service that can supply the district clinics as well..
..we have more nurses and MAs and doctors..

For all that, we just need less than RM5 billion...

Lost

There are times when you feel lost.
Your brain stops thinking. Your mind is empty. Nothing good on TV, keep flicking on the channel. No new update on your friends' FB or blog. Nothing nice (and cheap) on blogshop. No pending holidays. Oncalls seem dreadful. Even work seems pointless. No joy in life.

You feel lost.

There's no joy in the things you used to like.

There are things unsettled in life. But you dont have any power in it. Or you've tried so hard, but nothing changed. You get tired of it. Blargh!

I NEED SOMETHING NEW IN LIFE!

A HOLIDAY! MOVING INTO NEW HOUSE! A NEW JOB!!(?) SOMETHING TO LOOK FROWARD TO..DONT CARE IF ITS AN EXAM!!

Man in white

Dream, subconscious, or reality.

Saw a man in white, entered my room the other night. Or early morning.

Was back from the E&T, attending a case at 2am. Went to sleep. Suddenly woke up, seeing a man in white, opened my bedroom door, and entered. He then prayed next to my bed. I was shaking with fear. Tried to open my mouth, saying prayers and istighfar, but cant seem to open my mouth.

Then he saw me in fear. Put his hand on my chest to calm me down. I was calm indeed after that. He did said something, but I forgot what was it about. Something about my husband.

Then he went out. And he entered again. And I was afraid again. Then he's gone. Tried my best to wake myself up. And when I did, I was gasping, finally the word Astaghfirullahalazim escaped my mouth!

Dont know whether its a good one, or a bad one. You know, the syaitan can disguise as anyone..

Sigh...

"Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, lindungilah aku daripada syaitan yang direjam, serta orang-orang yang dengki..dari kesesatan dan kekufuran...dari malapetaka dan marabahaya..amin."

LOA.

I dont think its the work that stressed me out. Nor the calls, or the ignorant patient.

Its the boredom. Of staying alone. Doing nothing after work. Or over the free weekend.

Lately, few people noted I've loose weight. Even my mum said I was "underweight" when I went back for Raya last month. Well, me losing weight is not intentional. I myself noted how I had lose my appetite. Though at times, I craved eating this and that. But when the food presented to me, I had only a bite, or half the plate..and thats it. I suddenly felt full. Even nauseous when I'm too full. And I passed motion immediately after each meal.

This has been ongoing since before Ramadhan. Cant explain whats going on.

Worm infestations? Unlikely. Stress? Possibly. Pregnancy? Definitely not. Cancer? Hopefully not.

Boredom? Could be.

I do have cravings. Eating my favourite dishes. Tapi kenapa? Kenapa tak dapat habiskan??

Hmmm...

Anyway, thank God I'm still 50kg. Anything lower than that should alarmed me...

tali gantung

Terlalu banyak kes bunuh nowadays.

Baru2 ni keluar berita pasal sorang lelaki yang membunuh sorang wanita dan anak lakinya, dengan mensuffocate diorang dengan kain sarung, selepas merompak. Last2 dapat hukuman gantung.

Dan jugak lelaki yang pijak anak awek dia sampai mati. Kena hukuman gantung gak.

Lepas tu kes pembunuhan Macik Nouvelles Visages and few others. Itu memang kene hukuman gantung. Kalo bole siat2, kerat2 badan diorang, before digantung, supaya dapat merasa betapa sadisnya kesakitan yang diorang inflict towards the victims..

Ingat diorang ni tuhan ke, sukati bunuh2 orang??

spit those tips

Now you know how it feels...becoming an MO..thats it.

Menarik when you browse through FB, and seeing all these posts by your ex-HO colleague, on their struggle being an MO..

Pindah rumah, settle in, tengok patient yang banyak kerenah, susah nak cuti, oncall EODs, operating patient with minimal or no supervision, terpaksa refer case dengan specialist yang kerek..bla bla bla..

Tapi satu je yang kurang..less bitching pasal HO lain yang pemalas/tak guna/kaki ampu..haha..

Survival tips:
1. Learn the languange, get to know the people..
2. Be nice, but dont be friendly..otherwise they will end up requesting to see you on their next visits..
3. Old patients with multiple complains dont need lots of explanations..when symptoms are minor i.e no danger signs, best thing to do is to say.. "Macik dah TUA, biasa la tu.." and with good reassurance, they will accept that fact..
4. Common things are common. Management should be at the tip of your finger. Dont spend too much time on simple URTI or even a CVA. Thats how you survive busy oncalls..
5. Practice makes perfect. Just because you'd never done appendicectomy before doesnt mean you are totally incapable of doing one..
6. A must in all district hospital in to see one, do one and teach one..
7. Take a break. Even if the morning session clinic is not done by lunchtime yet, take a break. To hell la kalo patient marah, you are one person seeing hundreds of them..let them do the math..
8. The SN and MAs are more experienced than you, no doubt about that. Ask what need to be asked, but never let them forget who's the doctor..
9. Always bring a copy of OHCM or the Black Book around..
10. Work in Limbang. Miri Specialist are super nice, agreed by everyone who works here and in MGH.. haha..

Take care. Selamat Hari Raya, and Maaf Zahir Batin.

MRCOG

I've realised that I've wasted my time in Limbang for not studying anything that I want to major in..

Thats because, I dont know what I want to do until recently.

I believe O&G is the ONE for me... I dont know..maybe dealing with female patient is less distressing than dealing with male patients. I tend to get all stressed up and sadly, biased, when it comes to male patients. Sorry, I'm no sexist, but male patients tend to be more annoying and aggressive when they're in pain..thats why most of them are such a pain in the arse.

Believe it or not, I have soft spot for pregnant ladies. I tend to be more soft spoken, cheerful around them, and amazingly more confident when it comes to dealing with their problem. Some even cried when I tried to calm them and explained to them when they have PV bleeding..as my SN told me " suara Dr M ni mendayu2 sangat, sampai patient pun terharu..." (yeah, laugh at me if you want to, Wani..)

Of course, I'm no expert..but with a little bit of this and that, makes me better than before. As a HO, I was crap..

And I realised that doing O&G means high risk of litigation..

Since doing Master programme is a bit farstretched (as priority is given to the more senior MO), I aimed to take the MRCOG Part 1 next year. That means, buying MRCOG books this coming KL trip, applying for the study course in Manipal this November, maybe should browse around for Ultrasound course, if there's any, and finally, study hard which is going to be easy breezy, since the only distraction I have around here in Limbang is myself..hehe..

And maybe get myself insured..and join the MMA..heh..

subpoenaed

Attended a court case today, as a witness.

Experience was WOW... although it was a small hearing, not like those in movies, where there are lots of people, jury, press, high profile case involving murder bla bla bla..

Still its an important case..a human trafficking case..ever saw TAKEN?

Anyway, I was punctual. Plus 1 to me.
But then the Judge told me to wear something formal next time. Plus 1 Judge. I didnt realised it was a formal sitting. I was contemplating of wearing baju kurung, but I didnt. Was going to grab my suit, but I forgot..because I was rushing to get my medical report transcript.
And few plusses to the Judge, for talking to fast (I end up having staccato speech), for using too many medical term (I end up spelling CERVIX to the judge)..

It was a great experience. Its like final med year viva, all over again. Luckily I Googled few things the night before, about what they might ask me. And all my "spot questions" came out..haha..

It was surreal. Now, I'd experienced what all doctor should experienced.. death of a patient, performing CPR, operating a patient, post mortem, prisoners caning and finally witness for a court case... nice...

PS: Did an open appendicectomy today, in 39 minutes...

the land of hornbill from the hornbill's view

(courtesy of MAS window seat and a 2008 10.1 MP casio digicam)

short of everything

1. Nobody likes a whining, grumbling patient...especially when he is an obese smoker who kept coming back for chronic cough, when all investigations had been done and turned out to be normal, and the only advice that he didnt heed is to quit smoking...

2. If you're seeing a patient at a speed of 20KM/H, dont expect to finish by 5pm la...

3. If you buy teh c peng from the restaurant/mamak stall, better make it take away..cause if you're having it there, you only get a glass of it..but if you take away, you'll get about 850mls of it. Sure will make you bloated and full, so you dont need to eat. Which is another good way to stay slim. Heh...

4. My cycle goes from 26 - 30 days. Another day and I'm consider late. Heh...

relight my fire..

You know...this blog has been around since 2005..

Its intial title was as above, The Importance of Being Marisa..It was originally plagiarised from movie titled The Importance of Being Earnest.. (anyone ever watched it before??)

It has green, limey green with black layout at first..It takes me sometime to create the whole thing. I love writing and posting blogs, and photoshop all the photos I've taken when I was in Ireland. Back then, nobody cares if you snapped them..You're a tourist, even if you've been in Ireland for ages.

I had a lot of stuff to write too, back then. Of course, in Ireland, everyday is a great experience. The class, the labs, the trip to town for groceries, the 5 minutes trip for a quick McD, the hanging out with housemates watching soaps.. and then we have the tournament, the pasar malam, the cultural nights, the girl night out, the guitar playing..and the backpacking and the trouble organizing it, the scary Japanese movies night out, and watching stupid vid on YouTube with housemates...the break-ups, the crush, and the hook-ups..

Then I'm back to reality, back to home, where I belong. And somehow, the blog got screwed up, so, name had to be changed. Then after all the hu ha about life, I figured, I need to re-live the energy my blog used to have. And start taking random stupid pictures, even though I'm static.

I'm no longer single girl, with lots of crush, and history of being a skinhead and a playgirl. Yours truly is married now, settled down to a job that I love doing. Life actually had been great to me. And I thank God for the guidance He gave me..

So, let the party begin.... :)

bad moral

You know there's something wrong with the society..

1. When a child refused to bring her discharged mother home because nobody wants to care for her at home.
2. When a married couple asked you to abort their unborn child because they just dont want it.
3. When a patient said she didnt attend for her appointment earlier because her children has no time to drive her to the clinic, and she had managed this time because the van sapu agreed to take her, free of charge.
4. When a patient request a 3 days MC for simple flu because the concert is on tonight, and he planned to get wasted, so he wont be able to go to work the next day.
5. When a child of 5 years old, slapped her mother for letting you examined his tonsils.


Hmm...

"We can cure the sickness of body, but not the sickness of moral.."

silent treatment

I like giving silent treament.

I'm actually really good at it. Fact is, during any group conversation, I tend to be the listener. Once in a while, I crack a joke, people laugh, then I keep quiet only.

Even with my boyfriend, now my husband, I dont talk much.

Throughout my internship in Ireland, working with Irish who obviously dont speak Malay, I seldomly engaged in conversation with them.

I prefer sending SMS then accepting a call.

And finally, living alone here, with TV and Internet as my companion, hey, no need to say anything!And I can talk gibberish and nobody cares.

So, I started giving the silent treatment at work today. I didnt crack a joke, and I dont even bother at other people jokes. Most of the time, I only spoke with the staff nurse who followed me during the rounds. And with the patients and their family members of course. I like the look at their face when I ignore their comments or silly questions..

So, as few of my friends told me to..just say, apa aku kesah?

Which is great..so now,they wont take advantage of asking me to write them a prescriptions or MC or doing a quick medical check-up without going to the OPD..

And yeah, I apologised to that MA, and told him that since he thinks I'm kurang hajar, sombong and not professional..he dont have to refer case to me again next time..and I bet he wont, because I dont think he wants to lick his own spit, kan?

crap la wei..

Crap. Macam crap.. macam tahi...literally.

Kenapa la suruh someone yang cuma pandai mengintubate patient utk jaga A&E? So what? MA pun pandai intubate patient. Macam sial betol.

Paeds admission macam crap. Management macam sial. Bukan paed jek..bak kata semua la... Incomplete miscarriage tak keep NPO. Severe electrolyte imbalance tak buat fast correction. Antibiotics regime berterabur.. come on la!!

And then, yang jaga OPD pulak..slow. Habis aku ward round kene jugak cover OPD. Crap la.. Lepas tu, sikit2 admit patient..

Arghh..

Kenapa la..kenapa...haish...